Day 18.2018

Now I am sure you are asking yourself, how is day 18 and the 31^st of December? Where has he been? What is going on?

Basically, since the Party on the 22^nd, I have been in a holiday fugue. What day was it? Was there work? School? Was it morning? How long had I been wearing those Christmas pajamas? Was that a cough drop or a candy cane stuck in my hair? Yeah, it has been a rough week.  I am putting it out there right now that next year; I am going to figure out how not to get sick during the holidays.

So where were me? The party was on the 22^nd and as always it was Christmas. I am not sure why having too many dips and too many types of sweets and a huge punch bowl of eggnog and a house overflowing with people became more the central part of the season for my family but it is.  And when I say too many dips and too many types of sweets I am not exaggerating.  Why do we need so many food options? I don’t know, but what if someone went home hungry? That would be like killing a reindeer.  

This year we were back to having the party in our home and I cannot tell you how wonderful that was, but also how much it increases the stress. On the one hand, when the party is over, we can put the food away, or leave it on the table, and go to bed.  When we have the party at the fireman’s hall. We have to pack everything up and take it home, and clean and restore the hall to its previous state.  I am forever grateful for the years we used the fireman’s hall, but the cleaning part is exhausting.  The flip side is the house here has to be clean, and because we moved in May we were less than 100% unpacked and party ready.  Thursday night we were hammering and hanging pictures. Friday night I was still decorating the tree. There is a really fun day drinking and crafting video coming of the decorating we did. I hope to get that edited and out there before Epiphany.

What else was new this year? My sister Jenni and her kids all came for the party and stayed for Christmas.  It was wonderful. Like joyful wonderful.  Her kids are so much fun, plus her youngest, Christian, drank like 2 gallons of eggnog during his visit.  Someone has to drink that leftover party beverage!

So as I move into the rest of my 25 days I hope that your holiday was amazing and loved filled.

Day 17.2018

Today’s post is in honor of winter solstice the longest day of the year.  It was written by Christmas aficionada and fashionista Autumn Bond.  I have known her since we were in college at OBU together when she tried very hard to make cranberry leggings a thing.  Like seriously, she wore them with everything.  EVERYTHING.  Ahhh, the discretions of youth.  I love what she had to write. 

Tales of a Christmas Addict: An Accidental Manifesto for Christmas Lovers and Haters Alike 

I will tell you, there’s a lot of Christmas love going on in my life. The Sugar Plum Fairy from the Nutcracker is playing in the background alternating with traditional Bing Crosby and Ella Fitzgerald tunes. And there’s an occasional ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer’ or Adam Sandler Hanukkah song thrown in. 

A red holiday candle is burning and I’m pouring over Christmas card possibilities, glitter and ribbon options (oooh!), and wondering what would be the most fun to send out this year. I am in total heaven! Weeeeee! 

Sounds like a fairly typical Christmas scene for an over the top Christmas lover- Right? We know who you are.  

Except that what I am describing started in the middle of August and my neighbor just knocked on the door, slathered in sunscreen and a bikini, asking if she could borrow a cooler to take to the lake because she lost hers. She’s a little confounded to see my own personal Christmas party taking place in late summer. 

Okay, I made that last part up, but to be fair, I have encountered many situations exactly like this for most of my adult life. I start celebrating and planning Christmas three or four months earlier than the average person. The excitement that I feel about Christmas and the whole holiday season makes Will Ferrell’s character in the movie ‘Elf’ look like a total amateur. 

This all started in my mid-twenties when I noticed that I never wanted to take any of the Christmas decorations down. I had a desire to extend the energy and spirit of the season indefinitely. I would say to my then husband, “Can we just keep the tree up a little longer?” And so we did. That “longer” even turned into a few Homeowner’s Association letters begging me to please call off Christmas or they may have to take further action. 

I remedied my Christmas obsession on and off occasionally by having colored mini-trees that I would decorate for each season. If you ever want to try it, I can tell you that a pink Valentine’s Day tree decorated with deep red hearts can bring a person more joy than you can ever imagine, and a Rose Gold Thanksgiving tree can be the stuff that dreams are made of if you let it. 

My love for Christmas has not changed over the years but what I have noticed is that I have figured out why I love it so much. Christmas and Holiday Haters alike, I feel you, but stay with me for a minute if you can. I promise not to crank out ‘It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year’ or force you to go ice-skating with me.

I know many people despise the holidays, and as much as I like to rib and tease these fellow humans with my opposite opinion, most of them make a striking point. I saw someone in the service industry say it well when describing a recent interaction with a normally unkind customer who wished him Merry Christmas.  “Don’t be nice to me during Christmas when you’re a jerk the rest of the year,” he thought to himself. And he’s right, we should embody the season the rest of the year. However, I would like to take it a step further. 

Though contrived to say that the holidays bring out the pure magic and joy in life, they completely DO for some adults and many children. Children can carry a wonder and magic about life even without presents and decorations.  

Because we have heard all this before- [insert pseudo-inspirational trite story here telling you to look for the beauty in everyday life and Christmas while your kids are screaming in the living room and you have a headache etc.]. 

But wait. What if it is actually TRUE? 

The more I live on this planet, the more I find that these everyday moments are the ones that make our life. We have pinnacles and mountain top experiences. Other times a bad day. Or even a bad year. 

But in between there is the funny conversation you had with a friend, the dog you saw in the park that made you laugh. The rainbow that appeared out of nowhere Just for You and Your Delight.

If I sound a little overzealous, it’s because I forget about these things sometimes and have to remind myself too. It’s a commitment to appreciate all that you have and to be truly grateful in this crazy culture we live in.

Nevertheless, the magic and humor in everyday living is always accessible and pretty exciting for the one who wants to practice it. And, also have a really good time in life.  

We all have that cool story or interesting encounter we’ve had.  The glimpse of a life that is possible through something inspiring that we read or see. Maybe a shooting star or a kind gesture from a friend or even stranger, and most of us know to be grateful for food, shelter, and all of the benefits we get for living in a first world country. 

These are all things to be pretty grateful and happy about. There is a certain magic in that. Sometimes we become indifferent to the everyday miracles around us because we are all used to having so much. Wanting so much. Focusing on what we do not have, or what is wrong. When Magic and connection are reaching out their hands everyday to show us that happiness is right there. To illustrate that point, here’s a picture of a dog named Mango and his best friend Eddie that I met last night while getting cough drops and a notebook last night. Trust me when I say that I was lucky to meet them both and hear their story. 

Whatever holiday you do or do not celebrate, whether you like Christmas or hate it. I hope that we can all experience a few more shooting stars, laughing until we cry, and truly having more joy, which is our birthright. 

I’m only just learning myself what the meaning of truly being grateful is, and this Christmas Addict, who is getting ready to crank up some ‘White Christmas’, wishes the same for you. 

I hope that you consciously start to choose whatever it is that makes you happy. No matter how small. It’s a magic that spreads and lights up your world as well as everyone else’s. 

Day 16.2018

Good evening.  Three guesses what I am not doing? If you guessed party prep then your next two guesses don’t count.  It is not that I don’t want to do it, it is just that there are so many other things that need doing.  Good thing this is one of those years where the party is like a week a before Christmas right? Right? (The party is on the 22^nd, Christmas is on the 25^th, so yeah, no, not one of those years)

Tonight was church so of course, we had time with the littles, the real littles, the pre 3 year olds.  The regular littles from Kat’s class sang tonight, and it was predictably adorable. While we are on the subject of predictably adorable here is the craft we did in class last Sunday.  Here is the final version.

Now originally this was going to be a quarter-sized headshot of the child, on a popsicle stick and just one folded up coffee filter.  But things don’t always work out the way that we plan. I took the pictures and emailed them off to be printed without any specifics so when they were delivered they were really much bigger than I had anticipated.  Kathleen went to the resource room and came back with paper towel tubes and in typical crafting fashion, I just winged it.  Really though? These came out perfect.  The angel wings are the traced hands of the littles. My favorite is that one of the littles traced hand wound up with 6 fingers. I don’t know, I am pretty sure she has the normal number of fingers, but somehow in the tracing, we ended up with an extra. 2 extra really since we had folded the paper over to make two wings.

Now looking at Paul’s angel, since I can’t show you the other kids angels, I realize I should have sent one of Matthew’s headshots so I could have a matched pair of these adorable angels. 

Day 15.2018

I really need to be in party prep mode, and yet here I am blogging.

What still needs to be done?

I have 4 more tubs of Christmas things to cull through to pick what I am using to decorate the house with this year.

I need to put up the tree and then decorate it. 

I have to do something with the mantel.

I have two boxes labeled stemware that I need to unpack and then wash, and then find a place to put them. 

Which reminds me I need to wash all the serving platters and all the party plates and the punch cups. 

When I unpacked 30 punch cps the other night I was like, ahh, I am so happy to see these. Now  I am dreading the washing.  

The house needs to be cleaned.

I have to hang up at least 4 pictures. Maybe 6.

There is an appalling pile of laundry in the laundry room.

I am embarrassed to admit we don’t have a party menu yet, although I did look at a cookbook for about half an hour today.  Jell-O with meat in it is still a big no right?

I have a table covered with Christmas ornaments I need to do something with. I also have a bag of shells I borrowed from my Mother in law I need to put out.

There are lights. There is the front of the house. Is there some sort of mathematical equation that doesn’t involve me on a ladder but equals twinkle lights on the front of the house?

I think I have to shop for a dress shirt for a 17 year old. I am hoping that there does not have to be an argument about it.

I know I have at least one run to Michaels for stuff. And given how organized I am, probably more than one.  I think I need to go to the party store for a punch ladle. Or two, maybe two to be on the safe side.  I mean, I am pretty sure they are in the big tub of platters, but we don’t want a repeat of 2015 do we?

Also there is the necessary avoiding people asking me if I am done Christmas shopping. That happens after the party, every year. What kind of people do it before?

Also, I probably need to investigate that sound that I suspect is Eko kitty playing with some precious heirloom Christmas decoration.

Also not to add to Kat’s list, but why do people keep ordering candy off of Etsy? Whose genius idea was that?

I have 3 or 4 really clever Day Drinking and Crafting videos to film, but I am running out of time, and Matthew's schedule is not helpful.

Speak of the devil Christmas Angel, I've got to go, Matthew needs to be picked up and then dropped off somewhere else. 

Day 14.2018

Still running behind, but I have your Sunday of Joy right here!

Yesterday was the third Sunday of Advent, or Gaudete Sunday, which I think is Latin for Joy.  Or maybe it is Latin for gauchos, those ¾ pants ladies sometimes wear?  Now I am wondering what those pants have to do with the Advent? This right here is why I did not go to seminary folks.

I just googled it, and it means to rejoice. Boom, thank you internet. So yesterday we talked to the littles about the Sunday of Joy. First I want to remind you that the littles are age three to however old you are when you start first grade. I had some online feedback this week that maybe we should be focusing more on salvation, but then I got reassurance that it says in the bible that if you are still struggling with potty training and shoe tying then you are still ok on the salvation.

So we began the lesson by reviewing the other Sundays in this unit. First was Hope, because everyone was hoping that Jesus would be born, then was Peace because Jesus was (probably) a hippie and was called the Prince of Peace.  And third Sunday is Joy because everyone was happy when Jesus was born. Typically the color for the Sunday of Joy is pink.  I asked the littles if they knew why it was pink, and they said it was because Joy is always pink, duh. Now either they are advanced theologically, or they might be channeling some mean girls movie there.

So for our banner today, we again used the teal background. White might have been a better choice but I had half a teal banner piece, and half a white banner piece left and the Sunday I won’t be there is just crayon, so it really should be white so it stands out more.  So, theologically weird Teal it was.  Then we poured pink paint from the resource room onto paper plates and let the littles stamp their hands all over the banner. Why? That is an easy one because very few things bring me as much joy as children.  Even when they are being especially sassy and making fun of my name by calling me Kinkade Cactus. Finally, I had to threaten to call Santa.  Which got me in trouble with Kathleen, because she had already headed off a discussion of Santa, AND the Nutcracker when it was Jesus time.

Then once the pink paint was dry, and all the little hands were washed, and the paint smocks removed (because I know better than to let them paint without a paint smock) we added the letters that spelled Joy that Jesus Mrs. Jodi sent. Then it was snack time.  Goldfish or animal crackers, or Life cereal?

Every week when we have snack Mrs. Kathleen prays, and she reminds them before she prays, that she prays with her eyes open, and they can have their eyes open, and they can eat, and they can drink while she prays, but they cannot talk. Then she prays about the lesson, thank God for the snack, and then one by one thank God for each of the littles, even the sassy-mouthed ones.  This may be jumping ahead to next week, but that is Love.

Do me a favor today, love someone? Even someone sassy mouthed. 

Day 13.2018

today's post was written by me, but Kathleen edited it and added her thoughts...

First Christmas.

I have written before that Kathleen comes from a family that does not celebrate Christmas the same way my family did.  Kathleen’s family eschews the tree and Santa, focusing instead on the nativity—because it’s the right way. When Kat and I were dating, I had no issues with this and allowed her to choose her own way to celebrate—hrmph…like he had a choice…

Then after we were engaged, at her request, I elected to try and incorporate some of my family traditions with hers—I really do not remember this request happening.  So on the Friday before finals week, when I knew I was leaving town in a few days, I borrowed a mini tree from Tammy, Tammy, Tracy, and Leanne because they had a bigger tree in their apartment—I can only imagine if he’d borrowed the bigger tree.  I decorated this mini tree with ornaments and garland made from black and white beads that Kathleen had for crafting purposes—thief.  I used a black and white faux Chanel scarf of Kathleen’s like a tree skirt.

Then I made a beef and tomato soup, basically can of tomato soup mixed with a can of beef consomme soup.  I learned the recipe from my mom because I remembered my mom making it for a progressive dinner in the late ’70s and I thought it represented a super sophisticated flavor of soup—it was tasty.  I served the soup with an assortment of cheese, crackers, and summer sausage—we still are cheesy people, it’s true.  I wish I had thought to take a picture of Kathleen’s face when she came home and saw this beautiful tree in her living room—it’s a good thing there is no photographic evidence of my face. I’m sure it would have terrified our children.  I am not exaggerating when I say she was speechless—yeah, speechless.

I don’t really recall what gifts I gave her that year—there may have been a mixtape of holiday favorites-- basking instead in the satisfied glow of introducing her to the joy and delight—delight/dismay—that can be found in a lovely decorated Christmas tree.  I am fairly certain an angel earned his Christmas wings that night—or tarnished halo…

Day 12.2018

Today's post is courtesy of Kristin McAtee.  Pictured here with our friend Brad

This year putting up the tree became a family event. My stepdaughter, Danielle, wanted us to do it all together, Nana and Papa, Aunt Ellen, and Aunt Diane, and so after Thanksgiving dinner, we pulled out the decorations. We purchased a new tree last year and as the women worked on cleaning the kitchen, Danielle and guys worked on figuring out the tree. It was so sweet to look into the living room and see them working together and to hear the conversations, instructions, and laughs. I thought to myself that I would long remember this moment with our loved ones gathered together for food and fun and merriment. 

Finally the kitchen we clean and the tree was ready and we opened up all those boxes. It was only last year that my mom died and that I got married. So not only do I have boxes full of my own memories, but I've added boxes of Brian's memories as well. Last year our ornaments co-mingled for the first time. It was sweet to pull out ornaments his mom had made while she was there to remind us of why she had made them and when. Apparently, Brian cried every time the glass balls broke, so she gave in and painted cute wooden ornaments. A few years later, she made a set of sewed and stuffed ornaments. As always, I have too many ornaments that bring back happy memories for me. I have a handmade embroidered ornament my grandma made for me. Late in her life, her handiwork became more "creative". It is far from perfect, but it will always have a place on my tree. The beautiful ceramic Czech angel my mom bought in 1973 reminds me of my younger years, as does the sad, pitiful felt rocking horse I played with every Christmas. How can I get rid of that? The Three Wise Men candle holders my Aunt Ellen made when she worked for the phone company back in the '60s came out, to Ellen's delight and amazement. I always put out the cheap nativity set my mother bought when I was tiny. I loved it so much and waited to see it every year. In fact, I managed to knock the sheep loose when I was young so that I could play with them and every year my mom would glue them back on. Do you know how easy it is to pull glued sheep up? Quite easy!! All of these reminders brought mom into our party that day. She was there, in her own way, still bringing me Christmas joy. 

Danielle pointed out that Brian and I have many ornaments given to us for our wedding last year that all say "Mr and Mrs." She would like to be represented on the tree as well. Of course! Why didn't we think of that? She is building her own memories of this family time and may one day pull out some of these ornaments and remember these moments. I love how this year Danielle was excited to see the Advent calendar my mom made when I was young. Last year was her first year to use it and already it is a tradition for her. Christmas is the great glue for us all (excepting plastic sheep). We weave together our memories. Some are for us alone and others mingle with new family members, new Christmases, new generations. The sweetness lies in how beautifully it all comes together, every year. I pray that each family experiences the same joy in remembering and sharing during this special season of the year.

Day 11.2018

Because it is December, it seems inevitable that I am here sharing about loss again.  On Monday my Uncle Roy Casares passed.  The following is what my cousin Amber wrote about her dad.  It is everything. 

It brings me tremendous pain to share with you the sudden passing of my extraordinary father, Roy Casares (aka Ted Woody round these parts). He died Dec 10 from a heart attack. I am stunned and broken but I wanted to get this out… I hope you’ll indulge me because he was a man worthy of your time.

My dad loved life. I know that’s a cliché but it was so true with him. He loved people… he’d talk to anyone, he seemed endlessly curious, interested… engaging…and funny! He was a nurturer like no other. His first concern was always your comfort. But he was no pushover… he was strong willed… he had opinions… he had deep strong values and he was infuriatingly unafraid to express them and defend them.

#1… He loved his family… Me, Rochelle, his pets, his brother Rick and sisters Nancy and Rebecca, his nieces and nephews. Later in his life he’d finally get to meet his son, Scott, and he loved him and his family too. His best friend Chris was just as much family as any blood. That was it, really, if you were part of his world, you were his family. And he would do anything for you. No joke. He’d find a way.

#2… He loved the vulnerable. He loved animals. He loved immigrants. He loved those who made mistakes and tried to correct them. He was gentle with the outcasts. The quirky people who just didn’t quite fit in. He hated bullies and racists… he had no patience with that… but he did allow them the grace of redemption should they reform. He didn’t hold grudges.

#3… So he loved politics…he believed in a government that looks out for its people… he believed in systems that were fair. He loved feminists and the strength and intellect of women. He was very supportive of LGBT rights. I sang in so many gay bars growing up and the patrons just loved my dad so much and he loved them and their influence in my life … it was beautiful. And as stated above, he loved immigrants… he saw himself in all of them.

#4… He loved to enjoy life. He loved creature comforts. Even the simple joys of his favorite TV shows, movies, and books. Sports! He loved to play computer games. Eating at fancy schmancy restaurants. And Mexican food joints. The swimming pool. Talking with strangers at a hotel bar. Seeing his friends around him having a good time. He loved to make people laugh and he would sit back and see smiling faces and the give and take of good ribbing.. He was sharp and quick, but never wounding.

#5… He didn’t love vegetables. Not a one.

#6… He never complained about work. He went in early, worked hard, made friends. He adored his co-workers at Fast Lane. They were kids to him and they brought him joy. He would mentor them, listen to them, support them, and I think they really cared about him too.

7#... He loved living in Las Vegas. It had everything for him. And he and Rochelle have made wonderful friends who I know will circle the wagons around her. He enjoyed taking Teddy to the dog park… and he made a good friend there too. He couldn’t help himself. His emotional generosity was boundless.

Finally… He loved my singing. I think in a way, my singing was a defining part of his life. That wasn’t the easiest part of our relationship and perhaps the only part where I have regrets. He could be a little bit of a stage-daddy. I had some issues with resentment. He wanted me to knock em dead every time – I wanted to “make art”… He was as happy to see me singing in a karaoke bar as he was to see me on a big stage… as big stages were rarer, the karaoke bar was more frequent and I was not warm to this. Of course I knew then what would happen…. I knew one day I’d give anything to sing Unchained Melody one more time at a karaoke bar for my father.

I lost my best friend yesterday. The best friend I will EVER have. We talked every day, sometimes several times a day. I counted on him for everything… His intelligence… His world view… His boundless never-ending love… I am beyond devastated by his passing. I know he’ll want me to pull it together, but right now I can’t imagine why anything even matters anymore if I can’t share it with him. I feel lost. I thought I had 10 or 15 more years. He was healthy. He was happy. He would be out here in 2 weeks… he was looking forward to it. He believed the secret to a long and happy life was to always have something to look forward to. At least I think it put a bounce in his step and a smile on his face.

He was an extraordinary man. Really. His impact is far greater than anything he could imagine. And that would embarrass him.

If you read this far…. I thank you.

Do me a favor? Pray for my Casares family and love the family that you have. 

Day 10.2018

From the mouths of babes.

Every Sunday, in addition to amazing fun crafts, we have a bible story. This last week’s lesson was about Elizabeth and Zachariah. Sort of a standard for the whole, second Sunday of advent thing.  Did you know that because Zachariah didn’t believe the angel about Elizabeth being pregnant so God withheld Zacharias voice until John was born?  Imagine how Elizabeth must have felt? She was pregnant and for the entire time, her husband could not say a word.  I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse.

So, some Sunday mornings the children are very involved in the story, and paying attention and remembering what happened leading up to it.  Not so much this week. Now I understand, a miraculous pregnancy that we talk about in December is confusing.  But this Sunday as Kat tried to tell the story they were all rushing her and arguing.   

Yes, yes we know the baby was born and named Jesus. 

No, the baby was named John.

Did they change the name later?

No, this is not the story of Jesus’ birth this is the story of John the Baptist.

But what if they named him John Henry instead?

They did not name him John Henry, they named him John and when he started his ministry people called him John the Baptist, he came to tell people about Jesus.

That is silly, they could have just read about Jesus in the bible.

I opted not to tell the children that John was a joy to his parents because I myself was finding that hard to believe.

The other incident worth noting about Sunday morning was that my Paul had recently, like Saturday night, shaved his head.  So Sunday morning he was bald as a cue ball.  One of the little girls remarked that she was having trouble that morning because she had long hair and it sometimes gets tangled.  Paul commented that he has the same problem.  She looked at him, and it took her a minute or two of intense concentration before she said, “but you don’t have any hair.”  My Paul answered that he had long pretty hair like she did and put his hand on his head and pretended to be shocked to find he was balled.  The look of surprise on the other children’s faces was priceless!  

Do me a favor tonight? Hug your littles if you’ve got them, it goes by so fast.

Day 9.2018

Happy second Sunday of Advent.  Today was the Sunday of Peace. I pray your day was peaceful.

This morning’s Sunday School experience was far from peaceful. Kathleen and Paul brought a mellow, low key vibe to Sunday School, but those littles were not having it.  There was running and block tower building and more of that odd game they keep playing where one of them has a map and they say “I love life but it is my destiny to die…” I must be out of the loop or something because if this somehow reverences a show or a game or something I’ve got nothing.  

Remember last week with the banner and the craft I thought it might be best to start sooner and move things along quicker? Brilliant plan. Genius Plan. A brilliant plan really. Completely unsuccessful. A quite worthless plan really.

grated purple crayon

This week I thought we would do that melted crayon on wax paper stained glass craft.  I thought I would use purple craft paper, cut out shapes and then do the craft and tape the wax paper to the back of the banner. Sounds easy right? I planned ahead and had the iron, the wax paper, and fabric to iron on so as not to damage the tables. I also had a cheese grater.  I was ready.  But first there was no purple craft paper, and the blue was almost gone and therefore insufficient to our needs.  Teal works right? Also, do you know what is not easy for children to do? Grate crayons.  They all took a turn, for about 30 seconds, then they passed it on.  So Paul did most of that.  Then I split them up in groups so we could do 3 of the wax paper things because I thought that would be an easier crowd to manage. 

melted crayon on wax paper art

Why did I think this would be an easy project? So many steps.  Once again, so many of them were not child-friendly steps.  The first group sprinkled on so much of the grated crayon that it took almost 10 minutes with the iron to melt it. 10 minutes of ironing.  10 minutes. While the children sit and watch.  Bored. So I had to explain to them that this craft was about ironing for Jesus. That the season of Advent is about ironing so that our homes are ready for Christmas. Ironed tablecloths and ironed clothes tall Jesus we are ready for Christmas.  I posited that only children who knew how to iron would be getting presents this year.  But Kathleen, AKA the Jesus police, told the children that I was not being truthful.  

Why do they believe her and not me? It is a scandal I tell you.

Cross section of a cell about to engage in intercellular premarital digitation. J/K this is the melted wax on the towel that will never come clean.  

So after much Ironing, we were done. TA-DAH! This is our Peace Banner.  

Be Peaceful. If you can. 

And you know, maybe buy the book if you haven't already. ;-)

Day 8.2018

Craft Fairs.

Today was a busy day for us here at the old Kinkade house.  It was the final craft fair of Kat’s candy season.  In case you are new, my darling makes fudge and other candies from early fall until somewhere between valentines and easter.  But this time of year, between Halloween and the end of the year is her busiest time.  When the boys were younger they called it fudge  season, since Kathleen’s fudge is the corner stone of her candy business. 

I can’t recall how many times I have told the story that when Kat and I were newlyweds her father Nolen gave her the recipe for chocolate, butterscotch, and peanut butter fudge. Allegedly it is the secret recipe of some famous candy company.  However, there secret recipe is available online and it does not resemble the one Kat uses, so there is that. So from that simple recipe for the three original flavors, Kat has developed 27 different varieties.  She has also added caramels, coconut bonbons, caramel turtles, chocolate truffles and the Oklahoma favorite aunt bills brown candy. 

Which leads us to today.  Kathleen sells these candies at seasonal craft fairs.  This year she did 4 craft fairs.  Every other weekend since mid-October, she is out at these events selling candy and making friends.  Which means the week before the fair she is spending late nights at her parents kitchen making the candy, with Matthew’s help.  Paul and I alternate wrapping caramels and affixing labels.  Then the day of the event there is the early morning loading of everything into the SUV, followed by the set up.  We have a backdrop frame built from PVC pipe that we assemble and hang curtains from, then a banner that proclaims Mama Kat’s.  Three tables with multiple layers of tablecloths to cover from tabletop to floor.  Seven cake stands and small tiered shelf, display the packaged candy, and a giant glass barrel is filled to the brim with wrapped salted naked vanilla bourbon caramels, (naked salted vanilla bourbon caramels? Vanilla bourbon naked salted caramels?)

There is a sample station where Kat, and the boys take turns offering free samples to everyone that walks by.  There is a payment station where I collect the money and sack the purchases in festive seasonally appropriate gift bags emblazoned with a sticker that subtlety screams black aprons, Matthew wears his black and white pinstriped apron from the odyssey culinary program he was involved with this summer, or alternates with his chef jacket from the same event.   And Kathleen, proud graduate of Johnson and Wales University’s Baking and Pastry program sports a ruffled polka dotted apron that looks like it belongs on the I Love Lucy show. It is all about the marketing.  We’ve gotta brand that image!

Then after all the set up, we have 6-8 hours of craft fair shoppers.  If you have never attended a craft fair you are missing out.  So many shoppers; all with their messy buns, infinity scarves, and knee high boots.  They like to shop in pairs, one older and one younger.  When offered a free sample, one of them always claims she is watching her diet, is diabetic, or claims that she doesn’t like candy.  The other one will always sample 2-3 flavors.  50% will say they will come back later, (and most of them do).  Maybe ¼ of them will say they make fudge themselves, or candy themselves, or used to, or could if they wanted to. And then about 8% fall into the What the Fudge?!?!? Category.  These are the shoppers whose response to Kathleen is so off the wall it is hard to classify it.

Take today’s entry in the What the Fudge category, was a young woman who Kat had given a free sample of the aforementioned multi-named caramels.  The woman tasted the caramel, looked at Kathleen and said, “What was that Kick? Did you feel that?” Kat just looked at her and said it was a sample of caramel. The woman walked off.  Matthew was stunned, “what does that even mean?”  I asked if he had noticed that she had a baby bump.  I posited that in the same way when the pregnant Mary went to visit her cousin Elizabeth and Elizabeth’s baby (who turned out to be John the Baptist) leapt in the womb, perhaps this shopper’s baby was jumping for joy at the taste of the caramels.  I mean, it could happen right?  Right?

Day 7.2018

Tonight was a rarity in this busy season. Quite unexpectedly my whole family found itself together at my in-laws at dinner time.  I can’t tell you how rare this actually is, even though we live only a block away from my children’s grandparents.  Busy work schedules, and school schedules prevent us from eating together at our house more often than not.  My Matthew works two jobs, goes to school and is a varsity athlete, plus he has a girlfriend that does not go to his school.  My Bonus son works, goes to school and has a girlfriend.  Paul is equally busy with his life and girlfriend too.  This is also the height of candy season, so Kat is spending many evenings at her folks making fudge and caramels and cookies and other delicious treats (that she refuses to bring home to me, but I digress).

So, taking advantage of this rare time of togetherness, we all sat down together and shared a humble meal of take out chicken, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.  All my boys love chicken.  You know that thing? Where Kathleen says what do you want for dinner, and I say sushi and she says no?  The boys always want chicken.  Even my Matthew who loves him some ribs will pick chicken first.  So, we had chicken, and grilled cheese and tomato soup.  Elisa had planned on the soup and grilled cheese before Kat showed up with the chicken.  It was good. 

Nolen shared the story that when he was a child in school, (and I could see Paul thinking, ‘with Jesus’) on Friday’s when they did not have fish sticks, they had grilled cheese and tomato soup.  This heartwarming memory led to a conversation about the news presidents administration had rolled back the nutritional guidelines set under the previous administration.  Matthew had words to say about this, as school lunches being nutritious and filling and available to all students is a major trigger issue for him.  My baby does not want his friends going hungry. 

In the midst of this time of togetherness and family sharing I sat there, thankful for my family and the love we share and for nights like tonight where we can all be together, even if it wasn’t some fancy dinner.  It was just humble fare shared by people I love.  In the midst of this time of love and familiarity my Matthew turned to Paul and shared this expression of brotherly love, “Bro, you are the plate to my hot dog, I don’t mind it when you are there, but you are completely unnecessary.” 

Father of the Year right here. Changing lives. Raising future leaders. Probably have some explaining to do to Jesus.

Day 6.2018

What do you want for Christmas?

There have been big changes for my family this year. Like huge major changes. Mostly though, we don’t talk about them. If you know us in real life, or if you follow any of us on social media, you may know that #1 we have a house again! We are so thankful to not be living in an apartment any longer! And #2 we are now a family of 5 instead of a family of 4.  Now before you congratulate Kathleen on the birth of another baby let me stop you, she did not give birth in 2018, and no, Heather did not move back in, (although we have a room for her. When we moved into this house Matthew said, this back bedroom must be for Heather). 

Back to my point, our house and our hearts are now home to one of Matthew’s buddies.  I am not sharing his story here, except to say he needed a place to stay, and my son is a loyal friend who would do anything for his friends.  It has been a challenge and blessing.  You don’t realize how much of your life, your families culture is unique to itself until you add another person.  Suddenly things you take for granted are questioned. Why do we eat at the table when everyone is home, but not when Kat is not here?  If we have to use all matching silverware at thanksgiving, why didn’t we just buy all matching silverware to start with?  And so forth. Likewise you never know how much more love you can add to your family until you do.

Which brings me to today’s topic. What do you want for Christmas?  I don’t think I can remember the last time I asked my boys this.  When they were little Paul got Legos and Matthew got star wars action figures.  Those were all the toys they really wanted. And when they got into video games they picked the games they wanted for each other, or just were happy with what we purchased.  I don’t remember lists.  The last few years I’ve shared the last minute trip to Target to get our presents for each other stories.  Apparently that is not to be a thing this year. I am ok with this development,  It is interesting to see the boys responses when asked.  I am aware there are big schemes going on between the three of them, conspiring amongst themselves to make sure the gifts they give are the best ones.

What I do struggle with is how to answer when I am asked.  I don’t need anything. Well, a new job, a million dollars, happiness for my extended family, and world peace.  Those things don’t wrap easily and are hard to shop for.  So what do you say when someone sincerely asks what you want for Christmas? I mean I wrote the perfect Christmas gift myself so I already have a copy of 25 days with Judson,Stories for Advent.  You should definitely ask for it yourself (hint hint).  Shameless plug aside, as adults how hard is it to let another person pick a gift for you? Why is that? An argument could be made that once we shift into gift giver mode, it seems selfish to say, I want a blue sweater, or a pair of leather gloves.  But is it? I mean yes if I gave out an Amazon wish list to everyone in my family so they could check off the items that seems a little untoward and materialistic. But when someone who loves you, someone who the act of giving is important to asks you, shouldn’t you be able to answer?

Day 5.2018

Peanut Jesus.

Yes, you read that right.  For the last month or so I have been planning activities for the littles in Kathleen’s Sunday school class.  I mean, I plan the activities all the time, but in the last few months I have been looking at Christmas crafts for them, since my own kids have aged out of Christmas crafts. (although I am forcing them to come in and help on Sundays in December).  Since Kathleen and I have them for Sunday School and then for extended session is like an extra long Sunday School hour.  Normally there is free play until they can’t stand it anymore, followed by the lesson, a craft of some sort maybe, the snack, and then more free plan followed by singing and stomping and putting up of toys.

But because this is the season of extra and more more more, we are doing not one craft activity but TWO every week.  Let me tell you the joy and excitement this brings those children. “But Mister Judson we don’t want to do another craft, wasn’t that one already more than enough?”  I believe that is child speak for “I wish we could do crafts all day Mister Judson”.  In the same way that I ask if I should sing to them and they tell me please no, meaning of course they love to hear me sing.

So in Sunday, after the banner, we had Peanut Jesus craft.  Really and truly it is a ridiculous craft, you take a peanut in a shell, glue on 2 googly eyes, wrap it in something that looks like swaddling cloth and then glue it to the crook of a candy cane with straw to emulate a manger.  It is ridiculous in design, I mean it is a peanut with googly eyes standing in as the baby Jesus.  Plus there are a ton of tiny steps that challenge little fingers so it’s more of a look at the craft the teacher made and put your name on kind of activity.

As is often the case with these crafty things, not everything goes as planned. First off, we have peanut allergies in class, and not your regular kind, but the kind where if someone has contact with a peanut at school and then comes home the sibling has a reaction kind of peanut allergies. So, Peanut Jesus became popsicle stick Jesus. The new name is not as exciting, but everyone was safer.  But then when we were breaking the popsicle sticks to approximate the size of a peanut they didn’t break of smoothly which lead to someone getting a splinter. So of course whining and needing a Band-Aid and much drama.  All the children were very relieved when my Paul turned out to be ok. 

Then of course lots of gluing, and the googly eyes didn’t fit on the popsicle sticks.  Even the teeny tiny googly eyes looked like a cross between Sid from Ice age and Marty Feldman. Plus they didn’t stay in place and kept falling off, so we moved on past that point. Alas. (Because really the googly eyes and the peanut really sell this).  Coffee filter swaddling clothes really didn’t help sell it.  But we did have yellow confetti grass for straw, and you can’t screw up the candy cane.

So, drum roll please… here is the finished craft.  We sent them home dripping in glue with instructions to let them dry.  I wonder if they made it home safely?  This week, hard craft first, banner last. Except this week may or may not be the tricky banner. I never go for the easy craft do I?

But hey, what did we learn? Peanut Jesus teaches us that Jesus was born for us.

Day 4.2018

The timeliness of this post may be a little behind, but better late than never.  What are your favorite Christmas movies? Elf? White Christmas? The Christmas Story? Home Alone? Die Hard? With so many options it is hard to choose.  One year I gave my nephew Scott the Santa Claus Conquers the Martians dvd. I mean, come on, it is a classic!

While on the topic of classic holiday movies I want to share an opportunity with my Oklahoma City readers.  In the month of December Harkins Theaters is showing the following classic holiday movies as part of their Tuesday night Classic Series. 

12/4 7pm The Polar Express

12/8 10am The Polar Express

12/11 7pm Home Alone

12/15 10am It’s a Wonderful Life

12/18 7pm Christmas Vacation

12/22 10am Elf

These movie classics are only $5 so it is a savings as well as a fun way to celebrate the season.

But Wait! There is more…

On December 10^th at 4pm and 7pm they will be showing a special re-mastered version of 2 Jim Henson Holiday classics, Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas and The Bells of Fraggle Rock. How Festive is that?

Day 3.2018

December 3, 2018. Two years ago we lost my sister in laws sister Geraldine. All day long as I ran my errands and took care or my obligations I had her memory with me.  I remembered the first time I met her, I remembered all the family gatherings she came to, I remember how she loved to tease my boys, and their cousins, and I remembered her fry bread. I miss her.

I always want to say that I don’t miss her as much as her sisters, or her parents. Of course I do not, except that I am reminded that grief can’t be quantified. So who is to say who misses her, or anyone we have lost more?  I’d be willing to go so far as to postulate that the absence in the world that was created in her passing impacts everyone.  Maybe on a grander scale the absence of those we have lost has impacted all of us? 

I had intended to write about Ger and share some funny stories,(remind me to tell you about when I learned to say snow in Navajo and it came out like a popular meme from that time), and then I was reminded that today is the 30^th anniversary of my friend Cody’s mom’s passing.   Which in turn reminds me of Christmas 2000; I had just returned to OKC from Tucson, where I had been with my mom when she had surgery and we learned she had cancer.  The day I returned to OKC I had made an obligatory appearance at a work function, and as per usual Cody was giving me a hard time about everything something.  He pushed too hard and I snapped at him, Dude, my mom is dying, verbalizing those terrible words for the first time.  I will never forget the hug that Cody gave me.  I knew he knew, that right then he understood how I felt.  Because of the impact of his mom’s absence, I was affected in a positive way.

Today is also my dear friend Heather’s dad’s birthday.  It has been a few years since he passed but today she shared a story on social media, as she frequently does of how his life has impacted people in her community in Owasso.  Because of the life he lived, the examples he set for his family, people’s lives are still being affected now.  I like that.

So lots of meandering, and memories and loss today. I’ll leave you with this, love them while you have got them.  Love them when they are gone, say their names. Let who they are make a difference in you. Then you make a difference for other people.

Day 2. 2018

Good Evening, happy December 2. Happy Hanukkah! Happy first Sunday of Advent, the Sunday of Hope.  Today was a busy day, and as I am sitting here working on this I am remembering there are several other things I need to take care of tonight.  Miles to go before I sleep and all that.  Did you know that Robert Frost’s Poem Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening is about Santa Claus?  It totally is.  Read it again. 

Ok, I don’t really think that, but in college I did hear a fellow student argue that with the English professor.  Good times. 

This morning in Sunday school we had several projects going on. First we just finished a whole unit that started with Moses and the bulrushes, and ended up with Joshua fighting the battle of Jericho and winning. So yeah lots of old testament stuff, and we have been putting up the different Sunday school lesson posters in the windows for the last 3 months so the kids can see where the whole story has been leading them.  Today started a new lesson so we took all the posters down and started fresh.  The first Sunday of Advent seemed like a good time for this, so we made an Advent banner for the Sunday of Hope. 

Today’s banner was made by using a big collection of Christmas stamps I found in the resource room and purple paint, Lots and lots of stamping. You would think it might have taken a long time, but actually with 7 children it went pretty fast.  Then I glued on letters spelling out hope and my Paul hung it in the window.  When I took out the letters, one of the children noticed they were in an envelope that had come in the mail.  My friend Jodi has a fancy cutter thingy, so she helped me out  by cutting the letters and mailing them to me.  In all seriousness I was asked if Jesus had mailed me the letters in the mail. Of course I said yes, Jesus had mailed me the letters for the Advent banner.

Ok, fine, no I did not tell the child that Jesus sent me the letters.  I could have, but you know, Paul and Kathleen were there.  See, there is a reason I’ve been teaching babies all these years.  No one minds my version of the truth when they can’t repeat it to their parents.

PS if you didn't see the post yesterday about the book, here is a reminder, there is a link on the upper right side of the blog. Check it out. Santa says all the good kids are doing it.

Day 1. 2018

Happy December 1! Welcome back to Judson’s 25 Days of Christmas, my blog where I share a memory or story about Christmas each day for the next twenty-five days for no real reason other than it entertains me to do so.  This is my 10^th year of blogging if I do my math correctly. So , Go me I guess!

Before I really get into things I do have some general housekeeping things to address.  If you are going to re-read old entries you will find several entries that are out of place and all are currently all dated from November 2018. No, I did not start posting early, but when I went back through and made some edits to some older entries, I discovered after the fact, that it reposts them to a new date. Oops. But hey, if you want to look at them like new entries, that is all well and good too.

This brings us to the other bit of housekeeping I wanted to mention.  And in typical Judson fashion, I am kind of burying the lead here.  I was editing the old blog posts because I have published a book.  I went through and handpicked the very best 25 entries from the last decade and combined them in a book with bible verses for the advent. Again, Yeah me, I guess!  This is the link to where you can get your very own copy.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KSJWY1H

It is available on Amazon for kindle readers.  If you do not have a kindle reader, the good news is there is a kindle app. you can download for your phone, totally free.  There is also a version you can download for your computer, again, totally free. The book is pretty inexpensive as well.

Now, if you have been following along at home, and have already read all the entries, then why would you want the book?  I am glad you asked.  First of all, THE EDITING! Gone are the typo’s and run on sentences. Secondly, there is an A INTRODUCTION and an AFTERWARDS and the only place you will find those is in the book.  They could be full of Christmas magic, you won’t know unless you buy the book.  Thirdly, the whole bible verse advent thing.  Every day has a theme, like ‘A time for keeping in touch’, hopefully the theme ties in to the verse and the story.  Some of the tie ins are very sketchy clever, and if you don’t buy the book you are missing out.

Don’t miss out!

I think that pretty much catches everyone up on the housekeeping stuff. Screwed up the order of the old entries and wrote a book.  What else is new? Well there is this sort of related funny thing that happened this week.  Last Wednesday I gave a little mini commercial for the book at church on Wednesday night, because you know, why not? Do you know what I discovered? Getting up and talking about a thing I did personally is HARD, like, much harder than if I had gotten up to talk about tanning, or, oddly enough, a book that was written by someone else.  Because marketing books is what I do for Fawkes Press, you would assume marketing this book would not be a big deal, but, strangely it is.

So much so, that I didn’t tell Kat till it was pretty much already out there on Amazon and for sale.  Also, I have not like actually told my siblings or my parentals personally yet.  I mean, I posted it on facebook, so  I assume they are aware, but there wasn’t that conversation of “hey dad, I wrote a book”.  SO what have we learned? The king of self promotion, is kind of self conscious about it. More or less.

The Sweet Smell of Christmas - Day Nine

Something Sweet

Yesterday I mentioned the Corner Bakery experience with my sister and her kids. To be fair, and lest you think it was all inappropriate all the time, we did have a very sweet experience there. It was busy after the Light Parade, but my brother in law secured us a table. Then Jenni and I went to the counter to order for our families. I ordered 3 hot chocolates, a lemon square, a pumpkin gingerbread mini bundt cake, a peppermint brownie, and a raspberry crumble. I figured this way there was plenty to share. Jenni ordered hot chocolate for her family, a molten hot chocolate mini bundt cake and cookies & cream whoopee pies. I think it’s cute how she thinks her kids are still small enough to share deserts with their parents.

When the food came to the table (after the inappropriate bathroom experience) Keenan immediately announced he didn’t want a cookies & cream whoopee pie, he wanted a peppermint brownie! And Naomi did NOT want to share a desert, and looked offended that anyone would suggest it. I assured everyone that we had plenty of deserts and that we would all share, (much to Paul’s disappointment as he had already laid claim to the lemon square). Keenan suggested we all take a bite and then pass the dessert around the table. So we did.

The plates made two circles around the table with giggling and comments about how this was yummy or that was yummy. The second time the peppermint brownie got to Naomi she announced “No more passing, this is what I want!” then she curled her left arm protectively around her plate to fend off any invading forks. Now Naomi may be a Johnson, but that move is pure Kinkade, my cousins and siblings all learned it in defense of my Granddad and my children and their cousins learned it in defense of my dad.

So the dessert passing ended with Naomi getting the peppermint brownie, Paul with the lemon square, Matthew with the pumpkin gingerbread cake, Jenni got the molten chocolate cake, and I got the raspberry crumble. Keenan wound up with the whoopee pie that he did not want, so he shared the pumpkin gingerbread with Matthew, and the chocolate cake with his mom. Naomi was so right when she said “We have the best family ever!”