Day Sixteen

Hello! It’s me, Judson’s sister-in-law. I’m married to Judson’s amazing little sister Juliet.  Jud asked if I wanted to write a post and I agreed. I’m not sure why I agreed.  I mean, I don’t write blogs, I haven’t written a book, once I was even asked if I could read (seriously).  The odds are against me, but Judson just sent me a not so subtle text asking me if I was still interested in writing a post and reiterated he’s really trying to get all 25 days done this year *hint* *hint*. So, here we go ...

Jud and I met at college and our first date was on a winter’s night around his birthday where he had to wade through the snow... oh wait that’s his and Kat’s first date story.  I can’t remember the first time I met Jud, but I do remember the first Christmas I spent with my future wife’s family. Juliet and I went up to Santa Fe to their dad’s house. I remember Paul was about 6 and Matthew was about 4. Paul loved to give hugs and Matthew loves charging his uncle Ben and wrestling. 

One snarky comment from Judson and we were practically besties. We spent the night making inappropriate jokes.  And this is how we continue to spend each family get together. When my sister would join the Kinkade festivities, oh man, I would give my sister the “Behave!” glare and she’d laugh. Her and Jud shared the same kind of humor, too, and without me right there to censor the thoughts to words they could say some pretty crazy things.  Just to give you a mild example of this humor, when Juliet and I talked about getting married and were deciding on how we’d join our last names (Kinkade & Black) Judson started to refer to us as the “Kinky Black’s.” We went with “Kinkade-Black” and also tossed Judson’s second suggestion “Klack.” The picture I want to paint here is, from the first time I met Jud he has embraced me as family. Kat has too, but, if I’m being honest, I thought Kat was hitting on me the first time I met her. I mean, she was super sweet, and she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek after our first meeting! Just to give some context, my aunts give me formal greetings and handshakes. 

In the last 15 years, I have been fortunate enough to become a member of this boisterous family and to be embraced wholeheartedly. The melding of my wife’s family and my family has been one of the greatest treasures. My in-laws are here for me in the happiest days and they are here to hold me in the saddest days. They share memories of my sister, they feel the void of her absence, and the warmth of her spirit.  I have seen all of our nephews and our niece grow to be capable, lovely, kindhearted people. My parents have a special place in their hearts for the kids and they enjoy teaching Jud and the boys Navajo words like “Yaz” which sounds like “Yasss.” (I believe Jud mentioned learning this specific word a few years ago.)

Through my wife and my in-laws I have gained a new appreciation for Christmas because I see the ways in which their faith shapes their lives, and especially the ways in which it shapes Christmas time. It is not only that I now voluntarily listen to Christmas music as soon as Turkey day is over, nor that I’ve even attended Christmas services.  It is in memories like the first time I heard Juliet’s aunts sing a hymn and it moved me to tears. The occasion was sad, but it was their voices and their conviction in their faith that brought me to tears. It was the way their faith brought them closer together as a family.  Though we don’t have the same religious upbringing, not the same religious beliefs, it is a beautiful thing to witness.   

I am so fortunate to have these in-laws as my outlaws. I look forward to the many, many memories to come.  Do Judson a favor and be present in the moment this holiday season. Take a mental snapshot of the joy you experience. Those memories will carry you in the darkest of times and add an extra shimmer to the joyful times.