Elf on the shelf

Since we do not do Santa we really have no need for the ‘elf on the shelf’ phenomena of recent years.  For those of you not familiar I believe there is a book, and a small poseable doll.  According to my sources this ‘elf’ reports back to Santa every day on the good and bad behavior of your children.  From the pictures I have seen on the interwebs the ‘elf’ engages in shenanigans of its own.  Why Santa employs such a naughty elf to use as an agent of good behavior I have no clue.  I am sure the Republicans and Democrats blame each other, and the Oklahoma House of Representatives has an investigative committee all over that.

In any case, this is the story of how this popular little imp infiltrated my home.  Tonight at bed time, my Paul was rather frustrated because he found several pairs of my Matthew’s socks in his bed.  My Paul believes that my Matthew has been sleeping, (or reading, or playing on his phone) in HIS bed in the afternoons when Matthew gets home from school and Paul is still at school.  Matthew has been staunchly denying this, as he has his own bed in the closet, or Mama & Papa’s bed where the charger cord reaches.  However the multiple pairs of previously worn socks seemed evidence that there might be some truth to Paul’s story.

Then Matthew offered up the explanation that it was probably the elf on the shelf. 

“Really?” I asked. “Really? For Real?” Because I am sort of surprised with that explanation. 

My Matthew has mad skills in exaggeration, and this seemed rather weak. 

Paul even seemed skeptical. “Oh sure, because of all the fairy dust in my bed too.”

So Matthew smiled mischievously and said, “well that and the cookies the elf made chocolate poop on.”

I wish you could have seen the look on Paul’s face.  He was HORRIFIED.  So then Matthew had to explain this picture he had seen on the interwebs.  Paul very seriously said he would have to do some research on this, but he was pretty sure that was not sanitary, and that no one would eat those cookies.  

I told him I was pretty sure if people would eat macaroon cookies with dog slobber people would eat anything.