On Wednesdays we wear Pink

Things you absolutely must do if you are me and getting ready for our Christmas party.

Take 3 days off work to get things done.

Sleep in and then jump out of bed and freak out about how much you still need to do.

Make very specific plans for the decoration of the party venue that are a) completely unrealistic in terms of budget, b)unrealistic time wise, c) most likely guaranteed to be a #PinterestFail

Then you must drag all three boxes labeled SILVER into the living room, open the smallest box and carefully polish all the small pieces contained therein. Realize that you do not particularly care for the type of silver polish you purchased at Target.

Once you have finished the first box, decide that you need to take a break and work on your Christmas blog because you are already 5 days behind.  Get distracted by facebook. Declare that you are EXHAUSETED and take a tiny nap.

Wake up and scurry around to get ready for Wednesday night church. Wait for your oldest son to get ready.  While waiting, unpack the other two boxes labeled silver, leave the packing paper all over the living room floor. Stack the tarnished silver on top of one of the sealed tubs that holds Kathleen’s packing containers for caramel and truffle orders. Get a little worked up because the silver punch bowl isn’t in any of the boxes labeled SILVER.  Leave for church in a hurry because you are now late.

Eat too much at dinner because you do not understand portion control. Then you absolutely must apologize to Sarah because 1. Someone was over an hour late to retrieve my teenagers from her home last weekend (because the boys gave bad information and then stopped responding to texts and calls) and 2. One of the boys criticized the enchiladas she made for them because she used flour tortillas instead of corn.  At least he didn’t say “Depth of Flavor.”

Then you absolutely must visit the nursery on the second floor, because even though you do not work in the nursery on Wednesdays, those are the babies in your Sunday school class on Sundays. Also, it is fun to watch them run amuck. Amuck! Amuck! Amuck!

Go the gym and watch the pastor play basketball with the youth.  Watch My Paul run the skate room and be friendly to visitors and little children, even though you know he is grumpy.  Wish your phone held a better charge. Make plans with my Matthew to go shopping when you get home.

Because it is Wednesday it is IMPERITIVE that you get ice cream on the way home.  But First, you must go to Harkins to get my Paul’s weekly work schedule.  This was the BIG schedule… the one that he has been waiting since he got hired for.  And the verdict is… He does not have to work opening night of Star Wars The Force Awakens. Oh, also he is off work on Christmas Eve.

Then you must must must stop by Nicole’s house with an order of fudge for her to send to her family.  Do not forget to invite her for Christmas Eve Dinner. Even if she is catholic.

Stop at Braums for the ice cream you are dying to have, because you are in DESPERATE need of refreshment. Even though you overate 5 paragraphs ago. Ask the drive through window person “what’s good?”. Then make him recite the holiday flavors. Order an eggnog ice cream cone. Decide that you would rather have it in a cup, but don’t let anyone change the order, tell them all you will suffer in silence. Sigh loudly, so they know your suffering won’t be silent.

Get home and throw yourself on the couch because you are exhausticared from all this running around. Wait on Matthew to eat something so you can make your late night run to the store. When he is finally ready, it is important that you make a big deal about the list, and the importance of the list, and following the list.

Under cover of darkness, and wearing disguises so no one recognizes you. Allegedly. Covertly and discreetly drive to Wal-Mart and get the 10 things on the list. Also purchase  red and green M&Ms for the party because no one got them the other day.  Realize no one put candy covered pretzels on the list either, but refrain from purchasing those.  Hunt high and low for the silver polish at Wal-Mart, because that other stuff is Crap.  Find the kind you like. Wright’s Silver Cream. Ask yourself if you are possibly the only person polishing silver anymore.

Return home, put crap away, go back to polishing silver. Cuss. Make up some bad words about how much you dislike polishing silver. Post on facebook about it.  Take a break to look for that damn silver punchbowl that you are certain you have seen since moving, but refuses to be found.  Go back to polishing, even though clearly the party is ruined without the silver punch bowl. Decide that you hate polishing silver and that it is the worst. 

Tell Kathleen how much you hate polishing silver and that you are considering throwing away her silver tea pot and purchasing her a new one on eBay for $20 because that is easier.  Decide that now is the perfect time to try that thing you keep seeing on pinterest with tinfoil and hot water and baking soda.  Realize that it is after 1am and that it might be too late to try this. Do it anyway.  Be really surprised that it works, mostly.  Do 2 bigger pieces this way, and a handful of silverware.

Then when it is almost 3 am you simply MUST go to bed because you have things to do in the morning.