Well, Crap.

Well here it is December 1 again and all I have to say is… crap. 

Listen, it is not that I am unhappy that it is the Christmas season again, because I have been waiting for it for a while.  Waiting patiently I must say, unlike some major retailers, and those people who have had their Christmas lights up since October.  I am not unhappy to hear Christmas music on the radio either, although I haven’t quite picked the XM Christmas radio station for me yet. 

I am irritated because I have a problem. It is a teeny tiny small problem that might actually become a big problem if I can’t find a way to solve it.  You see, I have this Christmas blog that you might be reading.  I have been doing it for a few years now and I blog more or less reliably all December long, updating the handful of people who read it on the entertaining things that I remember from my childhood or the clever things my kids say.  I do it for no other reason than to entertain myself.  And I only do it in December.

Which leads me to my problem.  Because I only do it in December I tend to forget which email account I use to log into the blogspot website.  Don’t laugh.  For years I used jkinkade@atbtanning.com which was my work email.  I used it because it was convenient and I didn’t have another email account that wasn’t an aol account or a shared account with Kat.  Then something happened.  Yeah, yeah, but no, not THAT something where I stopped working for them, that did happen, but not till 2013. Sometime before that the atbtanning.com account became incompatible with the blogspot.com so I had to create a new email account.  Currently I am using judsonkinkade@gmail.com for everything and you would think that was the most likely suspect as far as email accounts associated with the blog.  Guess what? That is not the correct email account.  Oh sure I can log in, no problem, but it tells me no blogs are associated with that account.

I have tried jkinkade@gmail.com, judsondk@gmail.com, jdkinkade@gmail.com and still I have nothing.  It could actually be any one of those but maybe I don’t have the password correct.  I ran into this exact problem last year, you would think I would have written it down somewhere.  Maybe I put it on a note in my phone? Let me check.

Nope. I have the XM login and password, my quiche recipe, a shopping list from 4/16/2013, Matthew’s sweet potato biscuit recipe, Paul’s lunch code from smoky hill high school in Colorado, my recipe for corn casserole, (which I did not make this year for thanksgiving), a list of who attended our Christmas party in 2010, and another list of who attended in 2014, a note about cake stands and punch bowls, but no notes about which freaking email I used.

I had this problem last year, and in the end it was Kathleen who helped me out.  I just reread December 1. 2014 entry and it says Kat helped me, but not which email account it was.  That was clever of me. Kat is busy so I am trying not to harass her, but really? What could be more important than this?

I realize the irony of the fact that if you are reading this you already know how it ends it.  Trust me, it is frustrating right now.

Oh hey! Figured it out. And yes Kat helped.  The email is jkinkade1970@gmail.com. Really? What was I thinking? Why would I put the year I was ‘allegedly’ born in my email?  I lie about my age so often it is no wonder I can’t remember that email address.

In any case, here we go again.  Happy December 1^st, thanks for being here.

Day 4. Christmas Letters

I really enjoy getting Christmas letters.  I know it is sort of a dying tradition since it is so easy to stay in touch in the virtual world.  I just have an appreciation for the fact that someone took the time to write out a letter about their year, where they are, what the highlights were and what they are going through.

I doubt that it serves as a better way of keeping in touch than a quick email or facebook post, but I like it nonetheless.  So far this year I have received 2; one from someone I have known since HS and the other from someone I have known since college.  It is a great way to keep in touch.

Kat and I used to send out our own version before we had kids.  One year someone confided that they only ever read the first page of those holiday news letter.  Armed with that information I liked to save up the really juicy stuff for the second page, or at least bury it near the end of the letter as a test to see if anyone was still paying attention. I ran over an elf today on the way home from work.  That way my really dedicated friends were rewarded for their diligence.

I have thought about a news letter for this year, it certainly has been a big year full of big news.  I just haven’t fully committed to doing it yet. I had a heart attack in January.  With all the big news it’s almost impossible to decide where to start. We moved back to Oklahoma.  Not to mention the pressure to be funny and clever and sound positive in the newsletter. The cardiologist asked if Kathleen was my mother.  Plus you have to decide whether to include pictures or not, and then the important question of what size print font do you want?  I will say that the letters I received this year are very optimistic about how good my eyesight is. 

So if you haven’t written a holiday letter to send to me, there is still time!  I look forward to hearing from you!

Lick a stamp for me!

Day 1. We Need A Little Christmas

It is December 1^st again, and where do I start?  I have debated whether or not blog this year.  I want to be merry and light and festive for 25 days and hopefully people will get their ho ho ho’s on, but it is a challenge. 

There are several reasons not to blog this year. First of all it takes time. Time I probably don’t have. Secondly, when I am blogging it looks like I am wasting time on my computer, (see reason #1 again.) Thirdly, it hasn’t been the easiest year and what if I can’t find 25 days of cheerfulness? It is not easy being clever all the time.

And here are the reasons to do it. . .

No really I do have some good reasons.

Well I think I do anyway.

Now what are they??

It comes down to this.  I started the blog in 2009 for one reason; because I thought it would be fun.  Mostly it has been.  (That is me underselling it).  My original plan was to have fun, and I can use some fun. (See reason #3 not to).

So here I am listening to Christmas music and blogging away.  I don’t have my usual 10 pre-written entries that I started in October, so you can expect it to be more off the cuff this year.  Maybe that is not a good thing.  I guess we will see.  I do have a few things planned though.  I have 2 guest bloggers lined up, and a potential guest poet.  I read one of the entries yesterday and it is really good.  I’ve asked the boys to contribute this year, but we will see. Maybe I can get Kathleen to write an entry?  I have already asked her to make 5 gingerbread houses, 3 new flavors of fudge, to help me figure out how to print the party invitations, and to figure out how to make these walnut shaped cookies.  All of this on top of the usual cookies, candy, and fudge.  Hmm… probably that’s a no to an entry from Kat. I guess I better put the pressure back on the boys.

If you are reading this and thinking “Hey! Why didn’t he ask me to write an entry?” then shoot me an email at judsonkinkade@gmail.com and I’ll give you a day.

Happy December 1, 2014.  Eat that advent candy for me.

***So I got this entry written and then it took me 40 minutes to figure out what email address I use to log in to Blogger.  Luckily Kathleen is amazing and she knew.

Merry Merry!

It is December first and here we are again.  For the next 25 days I will be posting my version of Christmas memories, thoughts, recipes, observations, rants and raves.  As always, the only reason I do this is because it amuses me.  

Now having said that I find I am lost at what to say.  It seems like thanksgiving was only a few days ago. Most likely because it was. What are you doing to get ready for Christmas?  Are you decorating your home? Preparing for the Advent? Listening to Christmas music?

Today I am getting ready for Denver’s Red Ball in honor of World Aids Day.  This event is a hair and fashion show/cocktail party put on by the Colorado Aids Project.  I am hoping that tonight’s over the top event puts me in a holiday mood. Fire jugglers and half dressed acrobats suspended from silk ropes are festive right?

That is sort of my point today.  What puts you in a festive mood for the season?  A certain song?  Certain movies? Particular bible verses?  Eggnog? Fudge?  Right now I am feeling that you should embrace that.  Unless it is ugly Christmas sweaters, don’t embrace that. 

Ok scratch that, if you love ugly sweaters and that is what it takes to make you happy then do that.  I’ll just roll my eyes behind your back.  But seriously thought, today I feel like people should be ok embracing what they love about the season to make themselves happy, proved it doesn’t hurt other people.

Speaking of hurting other people. . .Is it possible, just maybe, to not go around hating and bashing on people who love other parts of the holiday season?  This is hard for me, because of the thing where people annoy me.  But honestly, I get tired of the hate that goes on because people say happy holidays instead of merry Christmas, or who embrace the myth of Santa instead of focusing on the advent.  Do we think maybe this year we can let that whole thing go?

I don’t know about you, but I am raising two sons, and I am proud of who they are growing up to be.  What I want to instill in them is kindness and love and acceptance.   Clearly not everyone shares my faith, but if I go around harassing people who do things differently than me, or being offended by people who disagree with me, what does that teach them?

So my wish for you this year is to embrace what you love, and accept that other people are going to embrace other things.  And maybe, just maybe we can find a way to embrace each other.

The Mitten - Day One

Happy December 2012! I am back again for another year of Christmas memories and such to share for the next 25 days. We have a bit of a blog redesign this year, I let Matthew help with the color scheme, hope you like it and find it as Christmasy as we do. So without any more prefacey commenty things here we go. . .

How do you decide what your holiday plans are? Do you always do the same things? Do you plan for different activities every year? Do you just wing it? As a parent, does it make it more difficult?

I ask because as a parent it KILLS me christmas since we moved to Denver. What I want, what I believe is the right thing, is that now that we live here in Colorado it is important for us to make friends here, to embrace this as our home and to make our holidays here. I also believe that holding on too tightly to the past and what we left behind in Oklahoma isn’t good for anyone. But when my boys tell me they miss their friends, that they miss their church, and most importantly that they miss their grandparents, it is difficult for me not to make that happen.

Before we became parents Kat and I went and did for the holidays based on external factors. What were Stephanie and Clyde doing? Were Kat’s folks coming to town? What were my Mom and Jenni doing? The one important thing for Kat and me was always that we had our Christmas party the Saturday before Christmas. Then we became parents and other things came in to play. It is challenging to travel with a baby. So staying home became the norm. Once Kat’s parents moved to Oklahoma it became easier to stay home and not travel.

Years ago I read a Dear Abby letter that had a woman complaining that they always traveled when her children were young and as a result never formed any holiday traditions of their own. I don’t even remember Abby’s answer, I know that I thought the woman was a whiny baby and missed the importance of being with her family and I wondered what kind of hag she was that her grown children didn’t want to spend the holidays with her. And now here I am, on the horns of a dilemma. All of my options are good, but what is the best for my boys? What is the best for my family? What makes Kat happiest? Am I the only one that struggles with this?

No matter what I choose someone will be let down. That is difficult for me. You can say there is always next year, but is there really? As I write this I haven’t made a decision yet, but my timeline is counting down, so I have to decide soon. It is something like my own personal version of the lady or the tiger. Which holiday wrapped door do I choose?

***When I wrote this in advance of December 1 I had not made a decision. Since then I have made a decision and even though I can’t satisfy everyone, the smiles on my boys faces when we told them our decision let me know I made the right decision.

Here We Go Again

For the next 25 days I will do my very best to post a new and different, cheerful, humorous, heartwarming, and possibly a little tacky memory of Christmas. There is absolutely no reason for this, other than it amuses me to do so.

So here we go. . .

I like to think that I give great Christmas gifts. I like to think that people get excited when I give them a gift and the anticipation of what wonderful thing I have wrapped so beautifully is almost more than a person can stand. I also like to think I still look the same way I did when I was 25, but that might not be the case.

In 2001 when Kathleen was pregnant with Matthew, I was convinced that the baby would be a girl. I had been right about Elisa Gail, I had been right about Rachel and Julia, I had been right about Paul, so I just knew I had some inner knowledge that let me know I was going to be the father of a baby girl. In preparation for this baby girl that turned out to be Matthew, I purchased baby girl clothes. Correction, I purchased an unholy amount of baby girl clothes. Most of the purchases were made at the used baby stores (such a misnomer), or garage sales. However, the week before Matthew was born I purchased some baby girl clothes at Toy’s R Us, paid full price, took them home, removed the tags, washed them, and threw away the receipt. I brought it on myself really. Kathleen just shook her head and gave me that look.

So when Matthew was born his boyish self I had a modest, (ok, embarrassing) amount of baby girl clothes he would never wear. Some we sold back to the used baby store, some we passed on, and some put away, just in case. . .

That same year my childhood friend Kirsten was pregnant. In January 2002 her daughter Anika was born. She was a beautiful baby girl. I was so happy that I had someone close to me, someone that was part of my childhood, that knew my mom, that would appreciate the skill and love that went into selecting these “pre-loved” baby couture, plus I thought Kirsten could appreciate the humor involved in why I happened to have an abundance of these items. I carefully selected 4 or 5 of the very best outfits, the cutest little dresses and wrapped them up in a box to send to Kirsten.

I never did hear back from Kirsten about the gift, but I thought maybe she was a little like me, and had good intentions of sending a thank you card and forgot? Almost every year Kirsten’s mom sends a little something, or in some years a HUGE something for the boys, and unfortunately, most years I forget to send a thank you card. So I was very understanding that no thank you card came my way, but I hoped that Kirsten and baby Anika enjoyed the outfits.

Then December 2002 rolls around and I am unpacking all the Christmas paraphernalia to decorate our home. Inside one of the many plastic tubs I discovered the box I had packed up to send to Kirsten and never mailed. DOH! Turns out Kirsten had not sent me a thank you note because she had nothing to thank me for, as I never actually mailed her the present.

When they say “it is the thought that counts”, I know they mean me!

Five GOLDEN Rings Ba Da Bum Bum

Ok, it looks like I haven’t run out of steam yet.

I have a confession to make. My boys do not believe in Santa Clause. I know, it sounds bad. I grew up with the myth of Santa, Kathleen did not. When Kathleen’s sister Stephanie had a daughter she made the decision that she was not going to do Santa with Elisa. So, Steph told Elisa the truth when she was pretty young. She explained that there was no Santa and that all the gifts come from family and friends. Elisa’s granny (Clyde’s Mom) told Elisa otherwise and then showered her in gifts from Santa as proof. I can remember a 4 year old Elisa telling me I was all wrong about Santa, because her granny knew him.

So, when Kat and I had Paul, we agreed that we could forgo the Santa tradition, (since Kat already compromises on the tree). I had no idea what a challenge it would be. Of course marketing and advertising are against us, but that is almost beside the point because the boys know what they see on TV is not real. The problem is that when my boys tell people that they do not believe, they are always corrected and usually by adults. When Paul was little it was somewhat amusing when people asked him what Santa was bringing him, because he always answered ‘nothing’ and smiled. When he was 4 they had someone come to his day care dressed as Santa and it was reported to me that Paul did not want to sit on his lap and talk to him, that they had to bribe him with chocolate AND a candy cane, that they had to give the treats to him BEFORE he would sit on Santa’s lap and that then he would not tell Santa what he wanted. They asked him if Santa could bring a present for his brother and he LOUDLY let them know that he, PAUL, was getting a present for his brother, and no one else was ALLOWED to.

But all of that is secondary to what my Matthew has gone through. Please understand, we tell the boys every year that it is ok for other kids to talk about Santa and to believe in Santa, and that it is absolutely not their job to tell everyone. In fact, I encourage them to keep their mouths shut about the whole thing. Matthew, however, has a very strong sense of truth and not truth. And in his world, not truth is a LIE, and there are big consequences for telling A LIE. So he cannot help but share what he knows about Santa, and it always gets him in trouble.

Before he started kindergarten an extended session worker in the church nursery told me that Matthew was telling all the other little children there was no Santa and that he was ruining Christmas for them, and that if I did not put a stop to it he could not come back to the nursery. I gave her my blank stare and said, “thank goodness we believe that Christmas is about Jesus then.”

Only in my head it was more like “listen you hateful hag, you are not in charge here, and you are not the parent of my kid, I know people that will shank you, you crazy witch.” Only I didn’t think witch, which led to another internal dialog about how she made me cuss in my head in church and how that was not very Christ-like of her, and that I hoped God would get her for that. And I think I showed remarkable restraint for that.

So the moral of this story is my kids do not believe in Santa and don’t make me shank you.