2017.19 Merry Merry

Sometimes the best laid plans…

What did you have planned for Christmas eve and Christmas day?  I am willing to bet it was not waiting on apartment maintenance to come out and fix the sewage that was backing up into the bathtubs in both bathrooms. We got home at 10:30pm from our usual red and green enchilada dinner with my in-laws. Both boys were exhausted and went to bed, and that is when Kat discovered the problem. 

I give big props to the maintenance  guy who showed up within half an hour.  He stayed until 2pm before throwing in the towel and asking us to call in again first thing in the morning.  So, while other families were wrapping presents for Santa, Kat and I dozed on and off on the couches.  I’d like to say we were watching Christmas movies, but to be honest I was mostly dozing so I don’t know what we were watching.

First thing this morning the maintenance was back at it, and his co-worker who was too drunk to show up and help last night was here.  They were hard at work, but it was still backed up.  The boys slept in, and slept and slept.  I did put on a hallmark Christmas movie this morning, something about cookies, so I thought it would appeal to Kat.  The acting was so bad, she had me turn it off 15 minutes in.  Then I put it on the great British bake off Christmas master class with Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry.  Somehow I managed to sleep through that one twice.

Paul had to be at work today at 2pm.  Just when we were at the point where he was going to need to get ready at his grandparents, maintenance saved the day. So yeah! For maintenance, and boo to my neighbor who flushed a diaper.   So Paul went to work and not a single present was wrapped, or unwrapped.  When Matthew finally got himself up he could not be persuaded to wrap presents for me, so we just chilled and waited for Kat to come home.  Again, I want to say we watched Christmas movies, but mostly it was Doctor Who, since we are woefully behind and Matthew wanted to get caught up in time for the Christmas special.  We discussed going to see a movie but elected to pass, not wanting to pay for a movie, and having already seen anything we could use a pass for.

When Kat went to get Paul, Matthew got the presents organized, opting once again for the ‘everything in a bag and we just take turns pulling stuff from the bag and guessing who it is for’ option.  Then we had a brief conversation about which holiday movie best set the appropriate festive mood for present opening.  After thoughtful deliberation Matthew chose Love Actually.  Then at last when Kat and Paul got home, finally we opened presents and watched the movie.  While not a “traditional” Christmas by any means, it was our Christmas. 

I hope yours was enjoyable. 

Day Twenty Three 2016

My Paul worked Christmas Day from 5pm to close.  Kat and I took Matthew to see the Fantastic Beasts movie (again) and Paul passed us in.  When the movie was over we waited around till he got off work.  On the way home we stopped off at Devon Tower to take some holiday pictures with the big red holiday balls.

I had envisoned nice family holiday pictures.  What I got was... well this.

Day Eleven 2016

Since 2011 I have asked the boys to help out and write a blog entry for me.  So far I have been less than successful getting a response.  UNTIL NOW... Here is my Matthew's contribution.

Year Of Firsts

Writing this I realized; I haven't actually written for this blog before. I've been recorded for it. I've been photographed for it. I've been quoted, and I have been the topic.  But I've never actually written anything for it yet. So this can be the year of firsts. For me, anyway.

It's the first year I'm writing something for the blog. It's the first year I don't want it to be Christmas yet. I'm sure you can think of why, (too much heartache). It's the first year I only asked for two things for Christmas. It's the first year I had to take midterms. It's the first year I haven't been able to help nearly as much as I wanted, (broken hand). Year of firsts for me.

It's also the year my father told me to 'liberate' an ornament #OrnamentLiberationFront.  I have been told that it's actually considered 'theft' if you attempt to liberate an ornament off of a tree in Walmart or Buy For LeSS. I'm fairly certain it's only theft if you get caught. However, I have not liberated anymore ornaments. That I will admit too, that is.

Although, I will admit that my family might be slightly insane at times. More so, when the year is coming near to an end. And this is something I've recently noticed. Just this year actually. All of these reasons make this year my year of firsts.

Day Two, 2016

I’ve written before that there are years I can’t write about, years that are full of memories more bitter than sweet, or too painful to put into words.  What I am learning is that it may be that those years outnumber the other years.  Here is the thing, you never know, not one moment in advance, when your life is going to change. 

Saturday morning Kathleen was signed up to sell fudge at the Bethany Elementary School  Craft Fair.  The boys had Saturday school, so I helped Kat load in and set up.  Once she was situated I ran out to grab Sonic for breakfast. While at the Sonic I got a text from my sister Juliet letting me know that her sister in law Geraldine had passed away that morning. Just like that.

No matter how many times I experience that shock, that moment when the entire universe shifts, that moment when your life is split into before and after, I am never prepared for it.  Geraldine is not my family in the traditional sense of the word.  She is the sister of my sister-in-law.  We always said this made us outlaws.  I have known her for 12 years; she has joined my Kinkade family for holidays, baby showers, weddings and graduations.  Ger made the best fry bread I have ever eaten, and told the most hilariously inappropriate jokes.  She made fun me trying to say snow and potato in Navajo.  She laughed with my boys, and at my boys.  Those are the things family does, and that makes her family in my book.

I cried in the car, because a kind person, who loved to laugh, who loved her family is gone, and there is no help for that.  I cried because that is not fair.  I cried because I know too well how hard this is.  I remember watching Kat go through this same loss when her sister passed.  I don’t want that for Becca.  I remember how helpless I felt as my wife went through the worst possible experience that she could imagine.  I don’t want that for my sister Juliet.

I know that there are no words that can make this ok for them, or for the rest of Ger’s family and friends.  I wish that there were. 

I know this is a busy time of year.  So many people are rushing from one activity to the next; parties, church, holiday concerts and performances.  I don’t want to dampen other people’s holidays.  I am not trying to make this about me, or take away anyone else’s joy.  All I would ask, is that in the middle of all the busyness this season offers, that you take a moment to love your loved one, to appreciate your friends and family.  Be in that moment, because it is something you won’t get back.

Blue Christmas

Sometimes I miss my mom so much my heart aches.  Mostly I am fine, and I have many good memories and I share them and I am fine. But sometimes, like tonight it sneaks up on me and I am not fine.

Tonight started off well enough, cookie sampler social at church, then a candlelit family service. I enjoyed seeing so many familiar friendly faces.  Then we went to my in-laws for a traditional red & green enchilada dinner. A coworker joined us and that was nice. Then after dinner was over we headed home.

Then I saw my friend Texas Jay posted a lovely tribute to his mom on FB and I teared up, couldn’t help it, although I tried. Then my sister Jenni was texting me, and she is really missing my Mom tonight and that was pretty much it. I have been crying on and off since then.  

Here is the thing. I miss her so much that it hurts me sometimes.  She might not have been the best mom, but she was the best mom for me.  It does not feel fair that she has been gone so long, and that so much has happened that she missed. And why tonight? Why Christmas eve when I should be wrapping presents or drinking eggnog or kissing Kathleen under some mistletoe.  I really don’t have those answers.

So I went looking for a picture of my Mom and Jenni and I to share.  I can’t really find the one I want, and mostly I think that is because all my photo albums are still in Colorado, instead I found this picture.  I like this picture because of what you don’t know.  My Mom had come to Oklahoma to see us and while she was here she decided she needed to get her hair trimmed. So I made her an appointment with the woman who cut my hair, who tried to persuade my mom to cut her hair short.  My mom declined, having had short hair for years.  And so my mom got what she later referred to as big Texas hair.  It was big, and blow dried, and teased and back combed and really really big.  You can’t see it in this picture because of course she went home and brushed all the product out of her hair and did her best to make it look like normal person hair.

That mental image of my mom with great big Texas church lady hair is what I am holding on to tonight, what is bringing me my cheer tonight.

Merry Christmas.  Do me a favor? Love each other. 

Nutcracker Sweets

Tuesday night we went to see the Nutcracker at the civic center.  We have been meaning to go all season, after all Emily Thompson is in It this year. For those of you playing along at home Emily is the daughter of our friends Tom and Jodi Thompson. Yes,that Jodi Thompson.  Emily is all grown up at 18 and an apprentice ballerina with the OKC Ballet.  I am proud of her, so I can’t even imagine how proud Tom and Jodi are.

I meant to go earlier in the season but we were busy, and had party prep, and suddenly we had run out of nights. So we went Tuesday, the last night, and were joined by Jodi, who either is such a fan of mine, or such a fan of her daughter that she wanted to see another performance.  My boys have not been to the ballet before, and I wasn’t certain how they would enjoy it.  Also I had some concerns about their attire.  I left some instructions about what I thought they should wear, but they don’t always listen to me. They did ok, even though they did not exactly follow my instructions. At least I assume they did ok, Jodi didn’t say anything about their attire, so I think we were safe.

Remember the last time I went to see the nutcracker? I tend to sleep through the Snowflakes. This year though, Em was a snowflake so I knew going in I needed to be awake for that part. I drank a 5 hour energy on my way, so I figured I would be ok.  Let’s just say that at least I was awake for the important parts.

So how was the Nutcracker? Well, since we were primarily interested in seeing Emily dance, this version of the Nutcracker is the story of a young woman who goes to a fancy Christmas party in a fabulous dress with several children, probably not her own since she is so young. I am thinking second wife. Not a home wrecker though, probably the first wife was an evil queen.

After the party there is a lovely snowstorm with dancing snowflakes.  I liked it when it snowed on the stage, I thought that was very clever.  And yes, I did stay awake for that part! Yeah me.

At the close of the second act there are dancing flowers. Some other stuff happens in between, But mostly that was the important part.  Also, since the whole ballet is about Em, it seems like bad staging not to have her front and center where it would have been easier for people to see her. Just a thought.

And no, for those of you wondering, I did not jump up and yell EMILY! I KNOW HER! I KNOW HER! Every time she came on.  I am not saying I wasn’t tempted to, but discretion and valor and all that.

A helping hand.

How do you know when you need help? Sure when you are dangling from a cliff by the tips of your fingers you need help but how about when you started down the trail? Or when you got the edge of the cliff to look over? Or when you leaned out to take the perfect selfie? At any point someone could have stepped in and given you some help before it was too late.

If you read the blog, or know me at all you have hear me mention our friend Heather.  We know Heather from college, she was in many of my Spanish classes with me, and she and Kat had many we should be studying giggle fests.  After College Heather moved to Austin, but in 2001 she moved back to OKC and became a more or less constant part of our lives.  In fact, when I was traveling for work most of 2010 and 2011 Heather stayed with us and was a huge help to Kathleen.

But this is not about that.  This is about party prep 2009.  It was bitterly cold, the Friday before the party and I had reached the “This house will never be ready” stage, Kat was at “No one is coming and there won’t be enough food!”  About noon there was a knock on the door, and there was Heather.  “I thought you could use some help.”

The thing is, very few people can help.  It isn’t easy to step into the kitchen with Kathleen and work alongside her without being more in her way than helpful. But Heather is one of those people.  We had lunch, then Kathleen and Heather rolled truffles, and bonbons, made cookies, and that last minute batch of fudge. Sometime before dinner Heather was the angel that helped our tired brains figure out what serving dishes we needed to serve the food for the party, and cleverly labeled them with post its to avoid confusion.   She worked tirelessly, and was in such good spirits and so quick to laugh, it made the work enjoyable.  The later it got Heather even said she had her nightgown in the car and could take a catnap on the couch so we could get an early start, but thankfully, with her help we wound down around 2am. 

Heather is back in Owasso where she grew up. With her family, who, I am sure, are delighted to have her there.  I don’t completely hate her family for that, Just maybe a tiny bit.  You see there have been so many times this week as we are crazy preparing for things that someone has said, “That’s a Heather thing,” only to realize someone is going to have to suck it up and do it ourselves.

When I tell Heather that she is our favorite, I might not be kidding.

Not a Christmas Party Picture