Take a look. I shot these a few days ago when I was crafting my whole ‘ease into Christmas’ thing. These pictures gave me a chance to show off some pumpkin crafts, (Wednesday’s with littles means lots of crafts, and pumpkins were a recurring theme). I liked setting the pumpkins out on our buffet with my family’s antique china. I always say it’s 50 years old, but that’s when I forget that it was 50 years old when I got it 25 years ago. The shot also let me show off table linens and napkin rings. I staged it with an assortment of cookies, with party plates and platters in the background, as though I’m ready for an impromptu gathering of friends.
They are great pictures, instagram worthy. In fact I did put them up on Instagram and it’s possible I posted #blessed and #thankful along with #chinatureen. I enjoy sharing this picturesque, idealized image of whats going on in my life.
The problem is that it is not reality. Look at this next picture, you can see that just a few feet away from the buffet table is the disaster that is our dining room table.
This is what my reality is. A big mess. I can manage to pull it together and give you what I think you want to see. I mean, those pictures are great. I’ve got that casual, down to earth, elegance vibe for sure...”cookie? Help yourself from the antique tureen on the buffet” But. It. Is. Not. Real. Taking two steps back from this picture perfect image you can see the chaos. Also, we didn’t use those tureens for thanksgiving, I didn’t know where they were an hour before I took these pictures. The cookies came from a tin and went back in the tin after the pictures because my stomach hurt, and I didn’t want to eat them. The party plates and platters? They have literally been sitting on the buffet since last years Christmas party because we have so much of this stuff it doesn’t have a real home. Pretty, but not real.
If you are like me, you can go through life looking at the idealized images people show of themselves and their lives, and feel bad because you know your life doesn’t look like that. I can’t tell you all the times I compare what my life looks and feels like to the idealized images I imagine my friends lives are like. It is tough.
Except... I have some really good friends. People who love my family and me, probably more than we deserve, and they love us enough to let us into their real lives, their messy lives, their sink full of last nights dishes, the trash needs to go out, laundry on the couch, lives.
My life isn’t perfect. My family isn’t perfect. We are going through stuff I wouldn’t wish on people I don’t like. But in the midst of our messy, complicated, painful lives, I have some hope, because I can look around and see that I have friends who are struggling to get their lives together too.
What does any of this have to do with anything Christmas related? Look, if I’m going to blog for 25 days and show you idealized versions of my life and my memories, I want you to know that you only
have to take two steps back to get a clearer picture of what’s going on on the perimeter of the idealized vision I’m giving you.
Do me a favor? Be easy on yourself. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone.
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