Angels in the Snow

Say their names.

Every year we suffer losses, and every year I think perhaps I'll be better prepared to weather the losses. And, yet here we are with a familiar Christmas shaped feeling of loss.  Certainly I may not be the person most affected by their absence,but I do appreciate the fact that they are gone, and I miss their presence, maybe the most when it's Christmas and I know their loved ones miss them deeply.

So here is my annual attempt to remember those we've lost by remembering them and saying their names.

Kevin Hoover

Leonard Atchley

Ann Nichols

Taylor Hendrickson

Rochelle Maxwell Hidalgo

Bill Hill

Ralph Unzicker

Dan Rupp

David Silva

Karen Cotter Wood

Dale Roberts

Jeffery Thibadoux

Allen Miller

Linda Hicks

Kari Adair

Joyce Keith

Cody Ferguson

Julia Beth Hankins

Betsy Hosley Kirk

Michael Paske

Jim Myles

Pam Barnett

Wylson Dainkau

Gary James

Becky Fox-Akins

Patrick Vaught

Jay Kopp

Chris Young

Karen Hylton

Ann Hankins

Stephanie Dunaway Forrest

Amanda Rohn

Chris Kinkade

Tara Stiner

Jane Rogers Meeks

Geraldine Black

Roy Casares

Nancy Casares

Mike Sutton

Courtney Owens Bond

Barry Hollis

James Swedberg

Donna Keyes

Cindy Stuart

Larry Roberts

Fred Kinkade

Dorothy Kinkade

Archie Horton

Alice Horton

Jan Kinkade

Vera Sotelo

Danny Sotelo

Fausto Sotelo

Max Cook

Charles Eldon Cook

Run Rudolph Run

In my lifetime I have owned sweaters people thought were ugly.  I have owned sweaters for Christmas, but I have never owned an “ugly Christmas sweater”.  In December 2023 I had just started working in a call center (again), and they had an “ugly christmas sweater” day.  My training class had dwindled down to 4 of us.  The trainer suggested we could (read that as SHOULD) demonstrate our team unity and commitment to corporate culture by participating.  If you know me, you know that is really not my style.  Plus, I don’t trust that everyone else will participate, and the very last thing I want is to stand out for looking ridiculous.  However I allowed myself to be persuaded to participate in ugly sweater day at work, against my better judgment.  As the token male member of the class, I was going to wear a Santa-esque sweater and the other class members would all wear reindeer inspired sweaters.  The big day was scheduled for the first Monday back after Thanksgiving break.  Someone in the class even passed out reminder notes not to forget.

All my fears were confirmed when I arrived at work that fateful Monday  wearing a newly acquired ugly Christmas sweater to discover the others in my group “forgot” and I am the only one in the room wearing a Santa rejected sweater. This is absolutely 100% the reason I don’t participate in things. I was determined to dash home at lunch and change, but my new supervisor persuaded me not to so that I could get my picture taken and emailed in with everyone else for a chance to win the random drawing prize.  After lunch I posed for the picture and they emailed me a copy so I could send it to corporate.

Then I discovered that as a new hire, my email was restricted to internal emails only, meaning just on the call center floor.  No way to send the email to corporate, as they were in another building, across town.  I told them I was feeling like I was being singled out.  They assured me I was not.

At the end of the day, as I was taking my last break, one of my coworkers on another team asked to take a picture with me because of a scavenger hunt where they are required to take a picture with Santa.  I posed for the picture, but honestly, is that an HR offense?  Seems like I should have filed a grievance.  They all definitely made my naughty list that year.

Christmas (baby please come home)

Hey, what happened the last couple of years?  Great question.  The answer is…nuanced.  To blog in December is not always an easy task.  It always seems as though the time I take to do it means I am taking time away from something else, something more important.  Maybe not more important to me, but more important to…others. 

The first few years I blogged at work, when I was working as a minor cog in the wheel of capitalism. No one noticed if I spent 20-40 minutes over the course of a day spalling sentences together to make a blog entry.  But then came promotion and more responsibility, and the feeling that  was being watched and monitored constantly.  Certainly, I was not being paid to blog, until I was, but not about Christmas, but I digress.  I am cognizant of the fact that it was not an appropriate use of company time.  Then company time became all I had, and then I still managed to do it.

Then 2023 came, and I got 2 entries in, and one of them was really good (gift of the magi) and then… I stopped. And no one noticed. Or no one said anything.  And the intrusive voices in my head said, no one cares… it is basically a cry for attention anyway… real men have better things to do… Kathleen has to do Everything and you just type lame stuff in a blog no one reads… Every year you fall short of 25 anyway… Honestly, you are bad at this… and on and on. So I didn’t finish.  No one even noticed. At least no one said anything.

Last year, December 1 came and went. I didn't start and then it felt too late and again, no one noticed. Why does it matter anyway?  I thought maybe like most online blogs it just died a silent death.

Fast forward to this summer, my son Paul and I were having a conversation about the day drinking and crafting videos.  I shared some of the intrusive thoughts that had shut that project down as well.  I said, “No one cares anyway,” and it just gives a desperate “I’ll do anything for attention” vibe.  Paul said, “Pop, that's the point, you are doing it for attention, and you don’t care what people think.  That is the whole point of all of it!” 

So here we are.  If nothing else, someday, years from now, these silly words will remain for my boys to read.  

What Christmas means to me

In mid October I moved all my Christmas crafting supplies into an empty bedroom at Matthew’s house.  My goal was 2 part, #1 to create 25 days of Christmas day drinking and crafting videos.  which I have.  Goal #2 was to go through and organize the crafting chaos and maybe pare down some of the clutter so that after I completed the project, instead of 3 carloads of mess, I could combine it all into a few well organized tubs of supplies.

Goal #1? At the point of this writing I am at 23 videos, I have 2 solid idea plans for 2 more videos, plus a tentative agreement from Matthew to help me with a video for day 25.  Mission accomplished. 

Goal #2? Well… Matthew has more than once politely asked if I could try and contain the glitter to just that room.  Now, it is not like I am sneaking into other parts of his house, yelling “Christmas miracle” and tossing handfuls of glitter and then running away. Although, let us be honest, it is always a possibility.  But if you know glitter, you know, it is insidious, a tiny, conservative, tasteful application of glitter in one room means you will be finding piles of glitter in the corner of your garage decades later.  I do not make the glitter crafting rules, I am just bound to them.

All of that preface is to say, one unexpected benefit of this plan is I have had the privilege of having multiple conversations with my son.  It is not as though we don’t talk all the time normally, but typically he has stopped by my house on the way to something, so conversations are rushed and often interrupted.  When we all gather as a family, everyone has things to share so I don’t always get the chance to listen to him one on one.  So this gift of Matthew time has been a blessing in disguise.  

I love to hear him share his thoughts.  I love how satisfied he is in his career path.  This last year, Fairweather Friends, the artisanal wood fire pizza kitchen and brewery he was running the kitchen at closed down. Sad face.  He went to work for a fancy upscale members only supperclub downtown.  Think Soho house. So exclusive that while he regularly fed the owners of the Thunder basketball team, there was no chance his parents could eat there.  

Every kitchen has its own learning opportunities.  What Matthew learned there is that there is a difference between male dominated cocky trash talking super competitive professional kitchens and Toxic male dominated cocky trash talking super competitive professional kitchens.  It did not take him long to figure out he knows what his boundaries are and what he will and will not tolerate.  While that is a hard lesson to learn, I am proud of him for figuring it out, and being able to say “I love what I do, but I don’t love doing it in this place, for these people.”

He is currently working at Harvey Bakery and much much happier.  He has said he is in his “Bakery Era” and really loves it.  I think for all the flash and sizzle of being a sous chef, or chef de cuisine and being on top of the kitchen hustle, and the way that appeals to his competitive nature, Matthew has a deep love of baking.  I love to see him thriving.

This is all the preface for the Christmas point of this entry.  Recently we have had conversations about the role of “fun” Christmas activities, like tree decorating, or santa stories, in the life of christians celebrating the true meaning of Christmas, and whether that serves as a distraction from Christ.  I made the point that certainly, one can eschew the secular trappings of Christmas and spend the season in quiet contemplation and prayer.  He countered that it seems like people who argue against the “fun” Christmas stuff are more interested in other people not having fun, than they are in their own "spiritual" celebration.  Then he summed his point up by saying that christmas fun is the dutch baby to the lemon curd of christmas joy.

Think about that.  A dutch baby is essentially a plain baked pancake.  On its own, it is, well, a plain baked pancake.  However when you add lemon curd? It transforms into an amazingly delicious brunch dish.  

This season, I wish you all the biggest helping of lemon curd dutch baby Christmas Joy.

DJ Play a Christmas Song

“Even the broken can produce joy.” – Elizabeth Montgomery, allegedly.

I may or may not be broken, but I definitely identify with that statement. The world certainly feels broken, this country feels like a disaster, and yet… people still yearn for joy. They search for it, crave it, and make room for it despite the complicated mess around us. When I look back, hasn’t the Christmas season always carried its own complications? Its stresses? Isn’t joy often something we hold alongside hard times?

Even in childhood pictures, I’m reminded that I didn’t always look joyful. I remember the economic pressures my family faced. Our Christmas Eve tradition of enchiladas and tamales wasn’t born out of nostalgia—it was because my mom couldn’t afford a turkey and all the fixings on top of presents and plane tickets for my sister and me to visit our dad.

By middle school, the world felt even heavier. The idea of finding joy in Christmas felt immature—uncool, even. How can you be cool and joyful? As if.

As an adult, it’s always the world versus the joy of the season. My desire to spend time with my children and family—doing holiday things we love—constantly competes with work, finances, illness, grief, and the everyday struggles of life. I often think it’s worse now than ever, but a glance back just 100 years shows the foundation was already there.

In the December 1925 issue of Better Homes and Gardens, contributors were wrestling with the ghosts of WWI. Their prayers that such a war never return sat alongside consumer-driven ads for children’s gifts. Articles about investing in your home ran next to money-saving recipes and guides for a “homemade Christmas.” Honestly, that isn’t so different from today.

Growing up, I was taught you cannot live in a fantasy world. And yet it’s easy to see why I might want to. Here we are in December 2025, and I struggle with realities every day—economic, political, global, local, church, and family challenges. These weigh on nearly everyone I know. But I refuse to believe that carving out moments of joy—setting aside the overwhelming heaviness of life, even briefly—is somehow irresponsible or immature.

Life is too hard to live in seriousness alone. If I pour all my energy into the harsh realities—working hard, earning money, donating, voting, reading the news, discussing the state of the world—yes, maybe I’ll make a difference. But if I do all that and still refuse to seek out joy because “the world is too serious,” then what have I gained? What lesson have I taught my sons? What legacy would that leave?

So yes—I reject that idea. I choose to seek joy. I go looking for silliness and fun, not to be foolish, but because that is often where joy hides.

One of my favorite memories from recent years is when Kat, the boys, and I stopped by the giant Christmas balls at Devon Energy to take a few pictures after a late-night movie. That moment has nothing to do with the movie or the photos. It’s a favorite because, in the middle of that picture-taking silliness, we found joy. In a world full of uncertainty—global, local, and personal—we shared something bright and light and meaningful.

And for what it’s worth? That is not nothing.

2023.2

efore anyone points out that I am already behind, I know, believe me, I know.  I’m not offering excuses, today, but just letting you know, I am aware.  The best laid plans of elves and thieves, y’all.  

This morning there was a thing at church where the young adults decorated cookies.  Pause for a moment and consider that I could be included with a group of young adults.  Consider it!  I mean I wasn’t, I was on child care duty, but I could still be thought of as young.  In some circles.  Of very old people. Maybe?

Anyway, in December I always have a plan, or two, for Christmas crafts with littles, however it has been a minute since I’ve done baby crafts.  The last couple of years I have managed at least one craft for the baby room kiddos, usually done on the sly, over the whole season, one kid at a time, so it can be gifted to the parents for christmas.  Typically it is little effort from the babies, and relies heavily on hand prints and/or photos.  This year I opted for a more or less age appropriate task and I am allowing the wee ones to stuff clear shatterproof christmas baubles with tiny colored pom poms.  No glue, no paint, and it is just about their skill level.

Guess what? Success! Truly.  All three of the boys we had today enjoyed it.  It is a one at a time task, and it took a few minutes for them to catch on, but then they all seemed to enjoy picking up the pom poms and carefully sticking them in the baubles.  Clearly, it's no big exciting crafting skill they have learned, (they already know how to stick their fingers into things), but I got smiles from all three of them.  I am counting it all as a win.

Feel free to extrapolate some greater meaning about slowing down, living in the moment, and the smiles of children.  Also, being prepared, books about baby animals, rhyming words, and goldfish crackers.

Blub, blub, blub

Judson 

2023.1

nd here we are again.  December One and its the Christmas season all over again.  Am I ready? No.  Do I have 25 blog posts already written and ready to post so that I don’t fall short again?  Also no.  Have I at least outlined or planned any of the blog posts to ensure the handful of people who show up and read these posts will be entertained this year and not left with that “stale cookie-disappointment” feeling?  Pretty much 3 strikes here.  Are you picking up what I am laying down?  But, Yet, And, However I am choosing to just boldly push forward in the hopes that something happens and I get inspired and everyone ends up celebrating.

For those of you who are not playing along at home all year long, here is the latest and greatest from my family.  We are all doing well.  I am working, working, working, like someone who has a job, and has to work.  Pretty much like a working person.  Also I am still doing the social media for my sister’s bakery in Tucson.  Kathleen is still an important person working for the state of Oklahoma looking at spreadsheets from her parents dining room table, all the time.  Shes got to keep an eye on them, because there is no telling what they might do if left to their own devices. 

Paul is still working at On Cue, and he made the change from the overnight shift to the afternoon/evening shift and is much happier about it.  Matthew is making handmade pizza dough at Fair Weather Friends here in OKC, and really excited about that.  He and Kathleen competed again at this years World Food Competition in November and had a great time, although they did not place this year.  They also catered a romance writer’s retreat in September and received amazing raves and accolades for their cooking. (And literally no one was surprised.  Not one single person was like “who know they could cook like that?”, because of course EVERYONE knows.)

Markese is also doing well, he has had several jobs this year, but the one constant is that he works hard.  Also?  He is a great dad.  Briella, his daughter, our grandaughter is almost one year old and just adorable.  She loves her Dad so much, almost as much as the rest of us love her.  

What else? Kathleen and I are still teaching sunday school and working with the childrens ministry at church.  Those littles are a challenge and always keep us on our feet.  September was sad when 3 of our bigger littles moved into the 1st grade class, leaving us with a much smaller class.  However, there are so many babies in the nursery!  Most Sundays I am spending the sunday school hour with the babies, because they vastly out number the kids in our regular class (the 3-6ish crowd).  January 2025, when a group of those babies turn 3 and move up is going to be an adventure!  I am not sure how Ms. Kathleen will keep up her tradition of having the youngest sit next to her at the table during the lesson when there will 4 littles coming in all at once?  Something to figure out I guess.

Speaking of figuring out…My book is still available for kindle.  The 25 Days of Judson Blog is available as a book.  For those of you who want the best of the best.  Even if you don’t have a kindle, you can download the kindle app on your phone for free and then buy the book.  If you are feeling really generous, feel free to review the book for amazon.  I mean clearly I'm not banging on the doors of any best sellers lists, but one review for the 12 copies I sold would be something.  There is a link to the amazon page over there on the right I think.  

Merry merry 

Judson