The Sweet Smell of Christmas - Day Nine

Something Sweet

Yesterday I mentioned the Corner Bakery experience with my sister and her kids. To be fair, and lest you think it was all inappropriate all the time, we did have a very sweet experience there. It was busy after the Light Parade, but my brother in law secured us a table. Then Jenni and I went to the counter to order for our families. I ordered 3 hot chocolates, a lemon square, a pumpkin gingerbread mini bundt cake, a peppermint brownie, and a raspberry crumble. I figured this way there was plenty to share. Jenni ordered hot chocolate for her family, a molten hot chocolate mini bundt cake and cookies & cream whoopee pies. I think it’s cute how she thinks her kids are still small enough to share deserts with their parents.

When the food came to the table (after the inappropriate bathroom experience) Keenan immediately announced he didn’t want a cookies & cream whoopee pie, he wanted a peppermint brownie! And Naomi did NOT want to share a desert, and looked offended that anyone would suggest it. I assured everyone that we had plenty of deserts and that we would all share, (much to Paul’s disappointment as he had already laid claim to the lemon square). Keenan suggested we all take a bite and then pass the dessert around the table. So we did.

The plates made two circles around the table with giggling and comments about how this was yummy or that was yummy. The second time the peppermint brownie got to Naomi she announced “No more passing, this is what I want!” then she curled her left arm protectively around her plate to fend off any invading forks. Now Naomi may be a Johnson, but that move is pure Kinkade, my cousins and siblings all learned it in defense of my Granddad and my children and their cousins learned it in defense of my dad.

So the dessert passing ended with Naomi getting the peppermint brownie, Paul with the lemon square, Matthew with the pumpkin gingerbread cake, Jenni got the molten chocolate cake, and I got the raspberry crumble. Keenan wound up with the whoopee pie that he did not want, so he shared the pumpkin gingerbread with Matthew, and the chocolate cake with his mom. Naomi was so right when she said “We have the best family ever!”

The Year of the Perfect Christmas Tree - Day 20

How do you make room for Christmas? Do you clean off the mantle? Maybe move pictures from atop the piano? Do you rearrange furniture to make room for the tree? How do you make room for Christmas in your life?

I am not sure about anyone else, but my life is very full. I work full time and then some. The boys’ schedules keep me busy. I try and keep it a secret but I also go work out a few times a week. None of this gives me a lot of spare time for things like making cookies, decorating trees, or making gingerbread houses. If I don’t have time for the smaller things like that, how do I make time for the bigger Christmas things? How do I make room for Hope? Peace? Joy? Love? If this season is supposed to be about honoring Christ’s birth how do I make room for that?

I heard a sermon once where the preacher equated preparing for Christ’s birth to preparing your home for the holiday season. There was a whole analogy of clearing out the living room so you can bring in the biggest tree and place it in the picture window in the front of the house so that it decorates both the inside, and also can be seen from outside the windows. It wasn’t a bad sermon, and I understand where he was trying to go, so I am choosing to ignore some obvious weakness of the analogy, as well as the whole, “did I really just hear a sermon about a Christmas tree?”

The boys and I had to move a trunk we use as an end table. We had to bring the tree and decorations up from the basement. In terms of actual rearranging the house that isn’t a very big commitment. The bigger commitment was the time it took to get the decorations together, and the time commitment to get the boys to agree to decorate the tree with me. How does that fit the analogy? Believe me there has been little Peace in my house this holiday season. If I struggle to carve out time to hang a garland how do I carve out time for Hope? If I failed to get it together to hang lights on the house, how much more likely am I to find the time for Joy? When people drive by my house, or come for a visit, I want them to see a beautifully decorated home, but people live here, and it definitely isn’t always a shiny inviting page from a holiday home magazine. I want people to look at my life and family and see Love, but again, I am human, and certainly flawed.

If I fail at reorganizing my life for these giant important themes of the advent season, can you blame me for failing to find time for silliness like gingerbread houses, or Christmas caroling? Except that somehow I do find time for some of the silliness. The boys and I did get the tree decorated. We watched the Charlie Brown special. We made time for a light parade with my sister and her kids. Maybe if I haven’t carved out a big place for Hope, Peace, Joy or Love, and if I myself am not a glowing example of those aspects, maybe it is enough that there are moments of these in my life.

Last night Matthew and his mama fell asleep on the couch cuddled up under blankets and a cat, and that was Peace. Every time my Paul and my Matthew do the Christmas dance, that is Joy. When Kat shares that she stopped on her way home to give food to homeless people, that is Hope. And, this feeling I have for these crazy, silly, fascinating group of people that make up my family, that is Love.

So maybe the analogy of cleaning your house to display the shining Christmas tree of perfection doesn’t work for me. Maybe a better analogy of preparing for Christmas is like pouring milk into a bowl of cereal. The bowl seems full before the milk, but there is still room to add it, and instead of displacing the cereal, or having to remove the cereal to make room for the milk, the milk flows around and fits into the available space. So maybe the important parts of Christmas are flowing around the other parts of my life and filling in the spaces? I’d like to believe that is so.

Snowmen At Christmas - Day 24

Pink Christmas Frames.

One of my Matthew’s favorite pink Christmas crafts this year are his pink Christmas picture frames.  We have made picture frames in the past as holiday gifts for friends and family.  Usually under my supervision we put stickers on the wood frames or decoupage holiday papers.  I like my holiday craft projects easy.  Matthew on the other hand. . .

In any case, here are the instructions. 

1.       Purchase the wood frames, and wood die cuts to glue to the frames.  You should also purchase your paint, paint brushes, glue and any other ribbon or knick knacks you want to use on the frames.  Or course this year we went with Pink and Green as the color scheme.

2.       The first step was to paint all the frames one color. Then wait for the paint to completely dry.  Matthew suggests waiting a week or so. You should paint the wood die cuts too.  When you paint the frames, not when the frames have dried.  Otherwise it takes too long.

3.       Next we used painter tape to tape off stripes on half of the frames. 

        Then we repainted the frames with the second color of paint.  Resist the urge to peel the painter tape off right away.  Ok, maybe just do one of them.

4.       The other half of the frames we painted with circles.  To do this, Matthew used the lids of the mini bottles, dipped them in the paint and pressed them to the wood to make the large round circles.  He used the paint brush to fill in the circles.  He and his brother Paul also used their fingertips to add the smaller circles.

5.       Do not forget to wait until the paint has dried. 

6.       Now you can pull the painter tape off. Plan on being surprised about how amazing it will look.

7.       The next step is to glue the wood die cuts onto the frames.

8.       After the die cuts you should glue the ribbon and any knick knacks or doo dads to the frames

9.       There was a lot of discussion about what pictures we should use.  Matthew was all for using old Christmas pictures.  I wanted to use the boy’s school pictures.  In the end we compromised and went with anything that actually fit within the frames. 

I hope you like the results.  My Matthew was very proud of himself.

Christmas Reminders

***HUGE MAJOR DISCLAIMER This blog entry contains some personal information I usually do not share with people because I don’t want to be one of those people who over share. Also I really think that some of this information is my private business and I don’t wish to discuss it, even with family members. Don’t worry, Kat knows about it.  I am sharing this information as it relates to Christmas, and I am not inviting a conversation about my fitness habits.

So here it is.  I work out.  Or, rather I was working out, on average of 3 times a week for the last 15 months or so.  I am on a temporary hiatus at the moment. Finances and a crazy work schedule that has me leaving work at 8pm are the reason for the break. I hate telling people because honestly, it's like I am inviting people to judge me for it. 

Prior to the break I had set alarms on my phone on the days I worked out to remind me to leave work in time to get to the fitness class on time.  Even though I am “on a break” The alarms are still set and they go off 3 days a week and now instead of reminding me to go work out, they remind me that I am not currently making time to take care of myself.

I think that maybe some of the visual and audible signs of Christmas are like those alarms.  Sometimes I see Christmas lights or hear Christmas music and I am annoyed and it makes me irritable because it is interrupting something else I am trying to do.  Sometimes I see the lights and hear the music and I am nostalgic and remember fondly Christmases past. Other times it motivates me to be kind, and do something meaningful for someone. 

What are your Christmas reminders?

Day Five 2016

The year without a Santa Claus…

Imagine if you will, a year without Santa.  Ok, I have said before that Kathleen and I did not do Santa with our boys, because of…reasons.  But imagine that you were a child that did believe in Santa and that suddenly one year, he didn’t come.  You still have Christmas, but it’s not as shiny, not as bright, not as joyful.  That is some of what I am feeling now.  I am not naive enough to believe that the whole world should be joyful this time of year, but just for 25 days I would like MY life to be joyful.  At the very least, I’d like to not be depressingly sad.

So, rather than dwell on the latest hurt, let’s talk about Christmas 1998.  Now the year before, Christmas 1997 had been an amazing year, Kathleen was pregnant with Paul, my Mom and my sister Jenni surprised us right before our party and stayed through Christmas.  That wasn’t the only surprise, Steph and Clyde came up from Wister of course, and Brian and Kathy Gibson came to the party, and Brian Stephens drove all the way from Colorado to be there, bringing his dog Odie, who was mostly chow with him.  My favorite thing about Odie was that she was our dog Angel’s puppy.  How a Chihuahua/dachshund gave birth to a part chow puppy, I’ll never know, but it’s true. 

Our townhouse was filled with people, and I paid Baby Scott $7.85 to take peoples coats up the stairs to my bedroom, so I wouldn’t have to run up and down the stairs.  Why $7.85?  I offered him $5 but he told me he needed $7.85 because he was saving for a street hockey set to use with his roller blades.  Ahh the 90’s.  With bargaining tactics like that, how could I refuse?

The living room held the largest tree we’d had to date, elevated ceilings made a giant 7 foot tree a necessity. There were candles everywhere, and white twinkle lights.  Kathleen looked lovely in black velvet and pearls, and Stephanie was beautiful in a black top with bejeweled buttons and vibrant head scarf.  Elisa Gail’s Christmas dress from me was crushed red velvet and cream lace, and her shoes fit her fine that year.

The menu was the epitome of pre-2001 menus.  The ‘yard of beef’ beef stick, an assortment of cheeses, a round cheese ball (thank you Mary Price for the recipe) and a cheese log, the veggie tray had my dill dip, and the spinach dip.  I also made a version of a veggie dip with tofu because my Mom and Jenni were vegan that year (although I saw Jenni eating cookies and drinking eggnog). We had cranberry punch, and eggnog, and plenty of ‘grown up’ drinks.  For desserts there were 3 types of fudge, (chocolate, peanut butter, and butterscotch), cookies, and tiny angel shaped mints that were dipped in white chocolate.  

All this description to say, it was a good year. A very good year.  An extraordinary year.  We felt surrounded by our family and people who loved us, and were looking forward to becoming parents. I have heard it said that you can;t always tell when you are happiest becuase you are thinking about other things, but I think we knew we were happy, blissfuly happy, and not in tune enough to know that it wasn't likely to come around again.

Christmas party 1998 was not that.  It was possibly as far from that as could be. I had been training for 8 weeks in Tulsa for a new job, living in an apartment Mon-Fri and coming home on the weekends.  Kat was working in MWC, and struggling as a single mom.  We knew at Thanksgiving that Stephanie and Clyde and Elisa Gail would not be coming for the party and unless some miracle occurred, it was not likely Stephanie would be attending any more.

I finished training a week before the party, at the ‘graduation’ they announced that the company had filed for bankruptcy but not to worry, it would be business as usual. I came back to Oklahoma City and worked 3 days, Monday night they announced the company wide Christmas party had been canceled, but not to worry, business as usual.  Tuesday they announced that all the new hires that had all the fabulous benefits that were supposed to kick in January 1, would have to wait 6 months, minimum. But not to worry, business as usual.  Wednesday night after work they said, anyone who had the company insurance, should not use their insurance, until after the first of the year. But not to worry… It looked like the writing was on the wall; I had lunch with my former boss on Thursday and asked for my At The Beach job back, and got the ok to start back on the Monday after our party.

  

So, overall, not in a good place getting ready for the party.  Wednesday night I think Kat suggested changing the menu, completely.  So we did, we still had fudge, and eggnog, but we subbed in hot apple cider, and no cookie press cookies, just chocolate chip style cookies.  No beef stick and cheeseball, instead we did an interesting soy sauce soaked cream cheese spread sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds.  Kat added a warm appetizer of sliced sweet potatoes with a dollop of sour cream and sprinkle of fresh dill. 

Instead of decorating the house with a big tree and all the trimmings, I hung the twinkle lights from the ceiling beams and that was it.  Kat put her nativity on the mantle and we called it done.  

The crowd was smaller too.  Some years when the party is closer to Christmas we have a smaller crowd, so we weren’t expecting a big turn out, but I think all told we had 8-10.  The Powells were there, and the Allens, and Najah and Karen Hylton, and Mike and Donita Fisher, and Tammy Johnson.  That was it.  

Even though it was smaller, the party was lovely, and there was lots of laughter.  How could any party with my Paul not be full of laughter?  Every person that came in the door surprised him and he yelled HEY! At them, as though asking ‘where did you come from?’  Paul and Katie and Riley played and had fun until there was no more fun to be had.  Then Katie and Riley went home and Paul got his jammies, and Najah held him for the longest time, and she explained how the parties where everyone comes are all the same, everyone telling her how much she has grown and how much she looks like her mom.  This may have been the year she asked if we knew any other black people we could invite in the future.

What did we learn that year? That year that didn’t shine as brightly as the year before? That year that held the promise of future loss?  That even in the darkest nights that we are not alone, that our family is here, that people we love as though they are family are here, that my Paul can always make me smile, and that even when I can’t see God in any of this, maybe He is still here.