stardate 12.16.2020

Who has seen the movie, Christmas with the Kranks? It’s a funny movie with Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis play a married couple who decide to skip Christmas and go on a cruise.  Their plans go awry and hilarity ensues.  At a crucial point when their traditional christmas eve party that they had canceled gets called back on at the last minute, Jamie Lee Curtis’s character shouts, “Where is my vest?  Where is my holiday vest? I need my vest!”  

Today as I was preparing to go out and deliver the party cookie boxes people had ordered, in lieu of an actual party, I grabbed a scarf to wear and I thought, hey where is my holiday scarf?  I have 2 that are festive enough that I’ll wear them around the holidays. One I appropriated from Kathleen, it is a dark red, black and cream striped scarf.  The other festive scarf is christmas red.  I couldn’t find either one today.

As an alternative I thought I could wear my grey plaid wool scarf I got in 1984.  I saw it just a few days ago I think.  I looked but I couldn't find out.  How does one keep a scarf for 36 years and then misplace it?  Does anyone else even own anything they wore 36 years ago?  Does anyone else even remember what they wore 36 years ago?  Because I know that on the day I flew from Albuquerque bak to Tucson for Christmas break, (Saturday December 15) I wore navy corduroy pants, a light blue oxford cloth shirt with pink pinstripes and a grey knit sweater.  I also wore the grey plaid scarf and a charcoal jacket.  Why is any of this important?  It really isn’t.  The point that I somehow managed to completely lose is that I didn’t wear my festive scarf this year and I still managed to deliver boxes of christmas cheer hither and yon.   

*** I wrote this the other day and intended to post it on Saturday, the day of the party.  I didn’t love it, but I know I'm running behind, so I thought it was okay.  Then saturday rolled around, and 

I knew that I had missed the mark and I knew why.  The grey plaid scarf that was a christmas gift in 1984 was from my friend Laura Hendrikson. Laura was one of my best friends in high school.  Even through college we stayed close.  And it isn’t that we aren’t close now, but rather that we just don’t communicate as often.  

Friday I saw on facebook that Laura’s dad Taylor Hendrickson had gone into the hospital with covid.  Saturday morning I saw that he had passed away. So maybe my post wasn't really meant to be about a scarf, but instead about my friend and the lasting impression her parents have made on my life.  Like I said Laura and I were close in high school, doing church youth group activities together, watching movies, and other typical stupid teen age things.  Laura’s dad Taylor was the typical high school dad, showing up to pick us up, or drop us off.  Wandering into the family room at midnight to remind us that we all had church in the morning and maybe nightmare on elm street part 6 could wait until another day?  He was a deacon at church, a Sunday school teacher, and I am certain he had many other roles at church I am not aware of.

In summer 1991 before Kathleen and I got married, Kat joined me in Santa Fe and I introduced her to my church family.  One of the things I remember very vividly was that when we went to meet Laura at her parent’s house, both Taylor and his wife Paulann took Kathleen and me into their formal living room, a room I had never been in before, and sat us down and talked to us about marriage.  Paulann shared that their whole married lives Taylor never spoke a cross word to her and always treated her as if she were a fairy princess, and made her feel as though she were the most special woman in the world.  Taylor reminded me that the bible says husbands are to love their wives the way Jesus loves the church.  Taylor asked me to be a good husband, and told me he was sure  I could be.  Then he prayed for us.  

 

All told it was maybe 20 minutes of my life.  But I remember it. I remember it, because of course they did that, that is who they were. Kathleen and I have been married almost 30 years.  I can tell you that I have said some cross words to her, but mostly in private, and I do make every effort to make her feel like a fairy princess.  That is an example I have set for my boys as well.  

I don;t know what memorial plans the Hendrickson's have for Taylor, and I am sure in the coming days there will be meaningful and wonderful things said about him and his lasting impact on his daughters, their husbands and so many grandkids.  I am not trying to supersede that or detract in any way.  I just wanted to say that if the only thing that anyone could remember about Taylor was that he was a good father and husband, and that he encouraged me to be the same, that is enough.