2017.2 Aunt Bill's Candy Secret History

If you are a follow of Kat’s candy on Facebooks or the interwebs you may know that this year she added Aunt Bills Brown Candy to her candy repertoire, because people keep asking for it.  What is this candy you non-Oklahomans ask?  Who is Aunt Bill?  The Daily Oklahoman has been running Aunt Susan’s holiday fudge recipe, Aunt Bill’s Brown Candy, since the late 1920s. If  you find yourself rockin' around the Christmas tree, then clearly it's time for Aunt Bill's Brown Candy, and maybe lay off the eggnog. It is all fun and games until you knock over a tree.  I am sharing the recipe and history straight from the horse’s mouth*.

A holiday tradition in The Oklahoman since the late 1920s, this timeless recipe dates back to The Oklahoman's Aunt Susan, Susan Adams.  Her daily column featured more than recipes; it included fashion advice, product testing, auto repair, and words of encouragement for the lovelorn, and hygienically challenged.  Most of all, though, Aunt Susan was a drunk. And a cook. And the recipe that's stood the test of time is her Aunt Bill's Brown Candy.

Adams, author of the “How-to-Cook Book,” once wrote in her column: “You would hardly feel like you were ready for Christmas if you hadn't made some candy to tuck into your boxes, would you? Well, I should certainly feel I failed you if I didn't give you our grand old recipe for Aunt Bill's brown candy. You know I've always told you this is my memorial to a dear courageous friend who was Aunt Bill to all of us and who never was too occupied to give of herself.”  Dear Aunt Bill giving of herself and teaching us how to stuff candy in our boxes…

This year, we will run the recipe as it was first passed along before the advent of Feminism, starting in the Roaring Twenties, through the Great Depression, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, and Tupak, Watergate, Babygate, the Murrah Building Bombing, 9/11, the entire run of “Gunsmoke,” the birth and death of the eight-track player, bell bottom pants, platform shoes, the birth, death and rebirth of the record player, a moon landing, Justin Beiber’s mooning the world via instagram, The Beatles, SpiceGirls, perestroika, Elvis in all his phases, Madonna in all of hers, the spice girls, George Michael, Garth Brooks before and after Trisha, Carrie Underwood before she keyed his car, and Al Gore's invention of the Internet.

This is a word-for-word version that ran in the Dec. 19, 1931, edition of The Oklahoman.

AUNT BILL'S BROWN CANDY

3 pints white sugar, divided

1 pint whole milk (or cream if you feel that way, vodka works too)

1/4 pound butter

1 teaspoon soda

1 teaspoon vanilla (helpful tip, a dab of vanilla behind the ears attracts bumble bees and hungry bears. Bears love vanilla)

2 pounds nut meats (preferably pecans, and be sure you wash thoroughly after handling all the nut meat. Like Aunt Bill always said “Cleanliness is next to saintliness, and since you aren’t going to be a saint, then at least be clean”.)

To begin with, let me tell you that the full recipe makes more than 6 pounds of candy, so you see it is not as expensive as it may seem. You will find it much easier to manage if two of you are able to make it together, although of course this is not absolutely necessary for Aunt Bill made loads of it alone. That was dear Aunt Bill, always one to take a load alone.

First, pour one pint of the sugar into a skillet, one with a heavy bottom, The skillet dear, not you. Place it over low fire. Nothing above waist high, bending over a low fire is part of what makes this candy such a chore.  Begin stirring with a wooden spoon and keep the sugar moving so that it will not scorch at all. It will take almost half an hour to completely melt all of the sugar, and at no time should it smoke or cook so fast that it turns dark. It should be about the color of light brown amber ale, or a nice brandy, (Aunt Bill was something of a drunk, bless). 

As soon as you have the sugar started to heat in the skillet, pour the remaining two pints of sugar together with the pint of milk or cream or vodka into a deep heavy kettle and set it over a low fire (again, lets go with the back breaking method) to cook along slowly while you are melting the sugar in the skillet.

As soon as all the sugar is melted, begin pouring it into the kettle of simmering milk and sugar, keeping it on very slow heat and stirring constantly. Now the real secret of mixing these ingredients is to pour a very fine stream from the skillet into the pan. Aunt Bill always said to pour a stream no larger than a knitting needle, while stirring across the bottom of the kettle at the same time.  Aunt Bill also said never mishandle your nut meat or your finances, so there is always that.

Continue cooking and stirring until the mixture forms a firm ball when dropped into cold water. Meanwhile have your helper chant in Latin.  This candy is a pain to make, so any appeasement of some ancient deity might help.  (Sacrificing a goat is not necessary) After this test is made, turn out the fire and immediately add the soda, stirring hard as it foams up. Make sure to use a wooden spoon.  One carved from the heart of a 100 year old redwood tree is best.  If you can’t manage that, then fine, whatever, use store bought, what do I care?  Soon as the soda is mixed, add the butter, allowing it to melt as you stir. Now set the pan of candy off the stove, but not outdoors or in a cold place, (outside? Really, like that was your first option? How small is your kitchen) for about 10 minutes, then add the vanilla and begin beating. Use a wooden spoon and beat until the mixture is thick and heavy, having a dull appearance instead of a glossy sheen. (speaking of a dull appearance, you want to be sure to fix your hair and makeup before your husband gets home, he works hard, he deserves the fantasy that you have no other thought in your head than his happiness, and this candy, of course).  Add the broken pecan meats and mix. Turn into tin boxes or square pans, (keeping in mind that buttered bottoms are essential), where it can be cut into squares when cooled. If it doesn’t turn out easily then your bottoms were buttered inadequately and I suggest you and your cohort discuss where the inadequacy lays.  This candy stays moist and delicious indefinitely. Decorate the pieces of candy with halves of pecans, if desired, or something else that is fancy, something that doesn’t have the words nut meat in it.

Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animals! 

*additional embellishments may not be attributed directly to the horse whose mouth I took this from.

No Offense to the Oklahoman' or Susan Adam's or her friends or admirers.