Not Safe for Children

Those of you who know me, know I love an inappropriate children’s craft.  Not like THAT kind of inappropriate, but a craft that is well above a childs skill set, or that has questionable (or dubious) spiritual merit are quite possible my favorites.  Case in point, my sunday school littles made pop up easter cards where inside the card Jesus popped up from the tomb and the card said Kaboom Jesus! Yes, Kathleen was horrified.

One year at our ornament party the kids made fabric christmas wreathes that involved tying strips of cloth around a ring, only most of the children were too young, or not digitally dexterous enough to tie the knots, so Max, Katie, and Paul wound up making their wreaths, and then assisting everyone else make theirs.  I am fairly certain the wreaths Kyle and Hilda took home were theirs in name only.  

Honestly, I really do know how to choose crafts appropriate to a child’s age and skill level.  I have 40 youtube videos as evidence, don’t I.  But I also have an appreciation for a craft that just goes wrong.  Something about being overly ambitious or setting a goal and falling woefully short, it just appeals to me.  

Which brings me to this years crafting with littles fail.  Months ago I realized the big heavy duty die cutter at church can be used to cut things more than paper.  In fact, if the die cutters appear worn down, or dull, you can sharpen them by cutting tin foil.  Which lead me to this creatively genius idea that perhaps using disposable aluminum pans we could create ornaments with this years christmas crafts.  I even brought an unused disposable pan from home to test the theory.  

I was correct.  It worked really well.  The only hiccup was that regular markers and paints didn’t stick to the aluminum.  I did some research and alcohol based inks or maybe permanent sharpies are the only things that would work.  I am not 100% on board with the littles using anything other than waterbased paints.  Likewise, anything with permanent in the name seems like a fundamentally bad idea with the under 6 crowd.  Then I realized that the sof aluminum of the dispossable pans was lightweignt enough that a toothpick or an dull pencil could be used to create “embossed” images.  I was really excited about how genius this going to be.  Plus, the cutting action of the die cutter smooths and rounds the edges of the aluminum so it wasn’t likely to cut or poke any little fingers.

I was really looking forward to this one, because I thought the littles would be excited about it.  When I went to get the disposable pans we would need I discovered that the ones I found at the dollar tree were holiday themed and that one side (the outside) all had a holiday pattern printed on them.  Not my favorite, and not what I had planned.  

Not to be discouraged, I went next door to Ace hardware and found a roll of aluminium flashing.  It is a little heavier than disposable pans, but I thought it would work as a substitute.  In theory I was absolutely correct.

In practice… Sure I was able to use the die cutter to cut out the shapes of the praying children and the angel wings.  It was more arduous that the original aluminim pans were.  Also there was a trick to it, that took me a while to figure out (for some reason it worked better when running the dies in sideways rather than head to toe).  But I did manage to finish cutting them all out.  Yeah me.

Did I mention the aluminim flashing was thicker than the disposable pans?  That means that no matter how much pressure I put down with a pencil or toothpick made any sort of impression the other side.  So no angel wings embossed with creativity of tiny children.  And honestly?  The only way I could affix the angel wings to the tiny praying children silhouettes was using hot glue, another thing that is not safe for tiny children.

So, to the parents of my sunday school class, let me say this, when you see the truly beautiful angel children ornaments that I made for each and every child in my care this year, please know that your child supervised my hot gluing skills and then they painstakingly chose the colored cord I tied to the angel as a way to hang them. 

Ornament Liberation Front

Y’all, today is December 16th, there are less than 10 days to Christmas and do you realize that not only has the ornament liberation front not liberated a single ornament from someone else’s home, place of business, restaurant, outdoor tree, or church, but NOT once has anyone even been tempted.  I’ve just been walking past trees hung with all manner of ornaments just minding my own business.  

I am not exactly sure how to process this information?  Have I lost the true meaning of christmas?  Is it a long term effect of covid?  Has the OLF just withered in the current political climate?  Is it a result of supply chain delays?

I know many of you are breaking this down to its simplest building blocks and thinking “what does it matter if Judson hasn’t tried to rehome someone else’s ornaments this year?  But I encourage you to look at the reality in the bigger scheme of things, what does it mean, cosmically, to the universe as a whole if an organization, no, a movement, dedicated to the liberation of ornaments that are improperly hung, or lacking the right background to properly highlight their true beauty no longer exists?

Are you willing to live in a world without elaborate distractions or schemes that enlist the assistance of small children and strangers?   Think back to the sacrifices, the year he tripped while doing the pass & grab and the foster son bolted as though he was a stranger?  The year he suggested a party host search another guest's purse as a distraction?  Was it all for naught?

I think we can all safely agree this is not the world we want to merely exist in.  So I urge you, no, I cajole and entreat you to think of Judson and the ornament liberation front this year as you go about your merriment and joyous activities.  I beg of you, think of the grand tradition and reach out.  Reach out and snag that ornament and make a hasty retreat before anyone catches you.  

In the classic words of Matthew Kinkade, “It’s not stealing if you don’t get caught”. 

Hope Sunday

The advent season started way back in November this year.  As is our typical habit we crafted an advent banner in Sunday school with the littles and began talking about the advent and what that means.  Just a reminder, our group of littles range from almost two to 6 years old.  

Sometimes when we start talking about advent and Christmas things start to click and the littles remember that we’ve touched on this before.  A few years back, when we started our advent banners one of the little said that was her favorite part of the year.  No worries about my ego though, because 3 weeks later she said “advent banners? Again? Can’t we do something new?”

This year it was all news to the littles.  They woke and had decided they had never heard of advent, or christmas, or Jesus before in their lives.  What’s more, some of them had thought they had never done a craft project with mister Judson before, one of the littles was looking at Ms. Kathleen like they had no idea who she was, and I am fairly certain another one of the littles wasn’t quite sure who they were on that morning.  However, I did learn, from one of the littles that Jesus knew how to fly.  I mean, I am not suggesting that he didn’t but it’s not exactly a bible story I am familiar with.  It is a process, y’all.

This is our Hope banner. A rainbow and doves.  We talked about how Christ’s birth was prophesied, so people knew and were waiting and hoping, and hopefully getting ready.  But honestly, by that point the only thing the littles were hoping for was snack time.  So yeah for snack time!

Also, yeah for littles who are always honest, and who bring so much joy to my life    

  

 

The year without a Santa Claus.

This year has been a rough one.  After much pondering and discussion the family has opted not to have a christmas party this year.  Not even a virtual one.  29 years of live parties, one virtual party and this year, nothing.  

Kathleen is exhausted,  Every day exhausted.  It might be a long term covid thing, or a living with (gestures broadly) with all this going on.  So far this year she has made only 1 batch of fudge.  Only 1.  That says how exhausted she is.  Her party feelings were that it's not quite safe enough for an indoor party (especially for families with littles), and our house is small for a group of any size.

I had suggested an outdoor option with a bonfire in the backyard and minimal snacks.  It seemed a viable option, although still would have entailed some work.  I was willing to make the effort, because I am worried that there will be last minute regret if we don’t at least attempt something and I don’t like to disappoint people.  But honestly?  Outdoor in December?  In Oklahoma?  I mean would guarantee a blizzard.

Paul voted in the no party category.  He worries about his mama.  Plus he really isn’t feeling like a big party is a smart move when so many people are still getting sick, and it seems like new variants are all over the place.  Matthew would have thrown his energy into party prep like crazy, but admits that his job is short staffed and is not likely to give him a Saturday night off.

So, no party.  I am struggling to say, “it will be fine.”  I am struggling because I am feeling like the grinch who is canceling not just some festiveness for my family, but also holiday joy for other people as well.  Our family will find another special way to spend that time.  I really, really hope our friends will also find a joyous way to mark the occasion and not come after me with pitchforks. We fully hope, expect, pray, that next year will be a better one and that we will be able to return to welcoming all our closest friends and families to a festive gathering.  I certainly hope so, because otherwise what will I do with 75 punch cups, 50 christmas themed party plates, and countless, countless I say, holiday serving platters?  You can’t exactly hang them on a tree and call them decorations.  I know, I have tried.

Say Their Names

Every year, every single blessed year my desire to be jovial and festive during the holiday season is at odds with the part of me that grieves and struggles to reconcile the losses we all experience.  It has become a habit in recent years to devote a post to recognize that loss.  It hurts.  It hurts to say all these names and remember them and know that they are missed.  Even people with complicated relationships are still missed and loved.  Maybe not by me, but by some.  So take a breath, say their names and remember them.

Kari Adair

Joyce Keith

Cody Ferguson

Julia Beth Hankins

Betsy Hosley Kirk

Michael Paske

Jim Myles

Pam Barnett

Wylson Dainkau

Gary James

Becky Fox-Akins

Patrick Vaught

Jay Kopp

Chris Young

Karen Hylton

Ann Hankins

Stephanie Dunaway Forrest

Amanda Rohn

Chris Kinkade

Tara Stiner

Jane Rogers Meeks

Geraldine Black

Roy Casares

Nancy Casares

Mike Sutton

Courtney Owens Bond

Barry Hollis

James Swedberg

Donna Keyes

Cindy Stuart

Larry Roberts

Fred Kinkade

Dorothy Kinkade

Archie Horton

Alice Horton

Jan Kinkade

Vera Sotelo

Danny Sotelo

Fausto Sotelo

Max Cook

Charles Eldon Cook

What Fresh Mess is this?

Day Three and already a day behind.  How many times have I shared that I meant to post and then…?  It is a common theme around here.  So let’s start with last year.  What happened after I mysteriously dropped off last year?  What happened?

I doubt anyone is surprised to hear that last year was a rough year.  It was.  I also doubt that anyone would be shocked to know that traditionally after our party, I have a touch of the holiday let downs.  Typically I review the party, what went right, what went wrong, what my feelings about the whole thing were.  Usually, after a day or two I move on and get over myself and pull it together and rally till christmas. Last year, not so much.  

The party was a zoom party, and while it was lovely in a way to see all those sweet faces and hear christmas wishes from people we love dearly, it wasn’t the same.  So, afterwards I mostly lay on the couch with a cozy blanket and watched sappy christmas movies till the month was over.  

Well, not exactly.  Mostly it is true, but I had already committed to twelve days of crafting for my littles.  During the midst of the quarantine I had started making little videos for my Sunday school littles where I walked them through doing an easy craft and shared, hopefully, encouraging and insightful words with them.  Earlier, much earlier, I had come up with a genius plan, of doing 12 days of videos to provide an activity for the stuck at home crowd to pass time between christmas and 3 kings day.  

I had recorded 3 or 4 in advance, but then I got busy with other things, which meant, like now, I found myself in the position of having to record more crafting videos as the year counted down.  So, yeah, that sort of interfered with my intended plan to be in a Hallmark movie coma till the end of the year.  And so, for lack of anything else to share, here is the link to the first of those videos.  

And go ahead and feel free to watch the rest of the 30ish videos.  Because why not? 

Since you've been gone

Day 2 - Since you’ve been gone.
In the last year or so, Kathleen and I have been binge watching tv shows in the evenings.  We watched all of Alias, White Collar, Black List, Farscape, Firefly, The Mentalist, Unforgettable, and many many more.  The thing when you binge watch shows is that it gives you the option to skip over the part where they say “previously on …” and give you a mini recap of what has been going on.  Turns out I like that part.  Who knew?
So here you go, a mini recap of this year…
Ummm… I am still running social media and marketing for my sister’s bakery in Tucson.  Remotely, from Oklahoma.  Although I did make 3 trips out there this year.  Which was good.  I like Tucson and I love seeing my family so win/win right?  When I was there in September it was my son Matthew’s birthday.  He was in Oklahoma, so I asked my nephew Keenan (whose first name is also Matthew, but rarely goes by that) if he would mind posing for a picture that I could post on social media wishing my Matthew a happy birthday.  He thought it was a funny idea, so we did.  Turns out only Keenan, Matthew, maybe Paul, and I got the joke.  So a few weeks later when it was Keenan’s birthday I doubled down on the humor and posted a picture of Matthew and wished Keenan a happy birthday.  Still crickets.  They look alike.  Well more so when they were younger, but still, and their bdays are a few weeks apart.  And they have the same first name… like maybe I can’t tell them apart… No?  Am I the only one who found it funny? Probably so.
Even in September my niblings insist I might secretly be Santa.  Apparently a new show debuted on netflix called Home Makeover with Mr. Christmas.  I hadn’t even heard of it before I started getting texts about it from Naomi and Christian, my sister Jen’s youngest two.  Naomi thought I could do much better and that the designs were way basic and uninspired.   Christian texted me to say Blah. Boring. And that he could probably do better himself.  To be honest, he might not be wrong.  
And what more? I am still blessed to be married to the best person I know.  I know very well you can’t have two crazy people in a relationship and thank goodness Kathleen lets me be the crazy one, because being the responsible one looks really exhausting.   We sorta played around with the idea of being empty nesters for a while this year.  I mean Paul was still living at home, but at 23 he's pretty self sufficient so it was like a test drive of that.  Turns out, the empty nest version of us is very similar to parenting us.  Less driving.   Then in October Matthew moved back in and brought his kitty Gandalf with him (this is how we knew it wasn't just a visit).  I had really thought about turning one of the empty bedrooms into an office or something, but oh well.  It is nice to have my family all under one roof.  An added bonus is that I really enjoy watching my sons hang out together.  Makes me feel like I did a good job, or something.
That pretty much catches you up on me this last year.  How about you?  What’s new out there?

And just like that...

Here we are again, December 1st.  All year long I think about what I’ll say, what I’ll write about, and how ro explain why I went dark early last year.  I plan to start early, to get all 25 days written in advance, or at least planned in advance.  Yet, here we are, day one, nothing written, and nothing planned.  Typical.

Some years, most years, I’ve got big plans by now, a master plan, a big list with too many items on it.  This year, not so much.  Way back in January when I was sure this time of covid living would be a memory by now I was planning a huge return to normal christmas party and I was tentatively planning a “Home Alone” theme.  Mostly because I thought that a sign by the punch bowls that said “Are ya’ thirsty for more?” would be funny.  Spoiler alert, no big return to normal party.

Is anyone else already tired?  Usually coming into December I am eagerly looking forward to all the things, and I am taking my vitamins, drinking airborne, gearing up, girding my loins, so to speak, so that I don’t miss out on any of the fun things.  But this year, I am already tired and I haven’t done anything!  Well, as Advent started sunday we did already make an advent banner in sunday school, and our first christmas ornament. But otherwise? Not so much. No banners have been hung, no halls have been decked.  Nary a stitch of apparel on any of the gays.  It way as well be February. 

Uggh.  That last paragraph is so whiny.  I might have to go back and delete it.  It isn’t that it isn’t true but it sounds like I am moping, and far from it.  Maybe this is just one of those quiet years? Downscaled?  I’ve done that before, right? Maybe? Maybe not.  But still. I could do it, right?  

It is not that I don’t want to be shiny and bright and embrace all the merriness.  I totally do.  I am just struggling with the appropriateness of a full on blitz of christmas cheer in the face of the world we live in.  Things are not great out here, so maybe I am having a harder time heralding the holiday because things seem so dark.  And yes, I am reminded that things were pretty dire for the jews when Jesus was born, and that is what we are celebrating.  So, perhaps there is some appropriateness to my ennui.

I am not sure how to end this so I am going to hit you with 3 christmas quotes.

"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind." --Calvin Coolidge

"I don't think Christmas is necessarily about things. It's about being good to one another." --Carrie Fisher

“Nobody is walking out on this fun, old fashioned family Christmas” --Clark Griswald 

So yeah, you are stuck with it, its all in your head anyway, so be good to one another.