Put a Little Holiday in your Heart

Have you  noticed a theme in the titles of the daily entries this year?  I am using the song title play list from Cher’s 2023 Christmas album.  For the last 2 years it has been my personal holiday soundtrack.  I am enamored of the combination of holiday classics and pop themed music like the popular DJ play a Christmas song, Angels in the Snow, and the title for today's entry “put a little holiday in your heart” - a duet sung with Cyndi Lauper.  The song serves as a catchy reminder during a busy time of year, when it is all too easy to get bogged down in the “to do list” of the season.

It is an annual argument at our house that I am “rushing the season” and that christmas talk before halloween is forbidden.  Certainly, I understand the point other people are making, and at the same time, as in the previous years, I am ignoring them. I admit, I go overboard, but I am not forcing anyone else to.  Mostly. 

I shared about Matthew and the lemon curd dutch baby holiday approach?  In the past I have shared that I am capable of dragging my family kicking and screaming through the holiday season with tinsel and matching pajamas, fuelled by egg nog and sugar cookies.  I can do it, but it is heavy lifting some years.  This year I am considering an alternate version of what is going on over here.  Maybe I am not trying to rush the season, or force joy and merriment on my family?  What if I am just trying to set the mood?

There are some painfully sad memories for my family in the months leading up to and during the Christmas season.  It is important to recognize that and honor the feelings that come with that.  My mom always said, when you are thirsty, have a drink of water.  AND, also, yet, however, still… for my immediate family it is sometimes challenging to open the door for the possibility of Christmas joy when you are experiencing sadness. Certainly, we aren’t alone.

I think sometimes, as adults, it is easy to get caught up in the regular life stuff.  Aren’t we already too busy on the day to day in a normal month?  So when December rolls around with parties, extra special church services, gift giving, decoration necessities and family expectations it certainly feels overwhelming.  I absolutely feel overwhelmed.  

This year, however, instead of dragging the family through the festivities and hoping something sticks, I am merely setting the mood.  Yes, I do play Christmas music in my car.  I’ll turn it down, and stop singing to you, but I’m not turning it off, I am setting the mood.  Yes, we are watching inane holiday rom-coms on tv at night, its background filler, because I am setting the mood.  Yes, as we prepare for our party, decorations have slowly been making an appearance at Matthew’s house.  I am not rushing the season, I am setting the mood.  Think of it as an invitation rather than an obligation.

I fully admit, I pulled the tree out of Matthew’s garage and set it up in his living room before November was over.  I am not rushing the season on him, I just needed it to stage the ornaments I have been crafting for the 25 days of day drinking and crafting videos.  I will get around to really decorating it soon.  I set it up, and I tested the lights, then I unplugged them when I was done.  I can not be held responsible if someone else turns them on and leaves them on in the background when he is home. We are just setting the mood. 

Santa Baby

Since we are reminiscing (back on the 4th) about inappropriate attire… Every December it is our custom to take the sunday school littles to “big church” at the beginning of the service for the lighting of the advent candles, and to hear/sing a few christmas hymns.  Then when the talking begins, we scurry back to our Sunday school class.  Last year, the children’s choir was also going to sing on one of those Sunday mornings.

Somehow a communication mishap occurred and one of the parents missed the memo that their daughter would be singing in big church.  Said daughter was also blithely unaware and dressed herself in a princess dress that morning.  Princess dresses are very popular with the pre-K crowd.  And for clarity, I don’t mean a dress that is reminiscent of a princess dress, I mean a dress that is an exact replica of the disney princess de jour.  All of the other children showed up in Christmas finery.  To stave off the meltdown, I offered up the solution that we do have children's choir robes, and that would be adorable.  However, apparently some people are really opposed to choir robes.  

The father of the daughter wearing the princess dress drove home and secured a change of clothes.  When he returned with a cute christmas outfit, you would think everything would be better.  You would be wrong.  The poor dad chose an outfit with a sequined llama wearing Christmas lights for his daughter.  What was wrong with that outfit?  His very serious princess daughter said that was too silly of an outfit to wear in BIG CHURCH to sing in front of everyone.  How could she be expected to sing about Jesus with a llama on her shirt and sequins?  By this time, church had already started and our class of littles was sitting on the front row.

I am not naming names, or casting aspersions, but children of a certain generation are aware that at this point, another generation of choir leaders, sunday school teachers, grandmothers, or parents might have resorted to that “that look” and a stern warning.  Javi’s own sainted mother might have kicked a child in her pointed stiletto heels. #allegedly

But that was a different generation.  As Matthew’s father I understood the whole “this is not serious enough for church” thinking.  He told the children’s minister in Colorado that their Sunday school didn’t meet his spiritual needs so he would just go to big church with the grown ups. So, I am familiar with that way of thinking.  

Ms. Kathleen took a different approach, she pulled the little princess under her arm and while we sat on the front row, she whispered how much she liked the Christmas llama top, and showed off the sequins on her own shirt.  She also pointed out the sequins on some of the other little girls outfits.  Tears stopped, everyone calmed down. And when it was time, the serious princess in the llama shirt got up and sang beautifully with the rest of the children's choir.

Ms. Kathleen is 100% a boy mom.  There is no denying that.  However, and, yet, still… I sometimes forget that she has also been a girl aunt for a very long time.  So maybe that was not Ms. Kathleen the Sunday school teacher, but Aunt Kathleen that stepped up and saved Christmas that time.

judgey disco llama

Christmas ain't Christmas

The return of the silver punchbowl.

Years ago I shared my famous eggnog recipe, which referenced the silver punch bowl that I bought on ebay.  Before that, way back in 1991 Kathleen and I purchased a cut glass punch bowl from Walmart for $5? to for our christmas sangria party that year.  We used it later for countless parties, school receptions, and of course our Christmas party.  Then in 1995? Wasn’t it? That my brother-in-law’s mother Dorothy gave us a second glass punch bowl with roses on it.  Then we created the cranberry orange punch to serve in one punch bowl for the folks who did not love egg nog, which was in the other punch bowl.  

In 2002, or 2003? The original punch bowl cracked down the middle and split in half. Luckily that year it was sitting on top of the buffet filled with christmas balls, because I had purchased the silver punch bowl off ebay.  

In 2011 we moved to Colorado, and both punch bowls survived the journey.  In 2012 when we held the party back in Oklahoma city we took the silver punch bowl, and borrowed a punch bowl from Kristi Swinney.  2013, the silver punch bowl was back in place for our last colorado christmas party.  In 2014 when we were getting ready for our party I found the rose punch bowl but could not find the silver punch bowl.  We had left a multitude of boxes in a storage unit in Colorado, so I thought I’d left it there.  At the last minute, we borrowed Kristi Swinney’s punch bowl again.  In 2015 we made a trip to Colorado and brought home ⅓ of the boxes, including, I thought, the elusive silver punch bowl.  

rose punchbowl 

Here is the absolute truth.  I saw the silver punch bowl, I DID put it in a box, (we were consolidating), and put it in our SUV.  Any box labeled Silver came with us, because I knew Christmas party 2015 would be our 25th party and I planned to lean in on the silver decor.  When we got home and put the boxes away, I could not for the life of me find the silver punch bowl.  I convinced myself I must have left it in the storage in Colorado.  When we finally brought home the Colorado storage unit items, I was sure I would find it.  But alas I did not.

silver party decor, but not a punch bowl

Since then, I have opened every single box labeled kitchen, or dishes, and of course silver. Still no silver punch bowl.  I have alternated between believing that our friends the Powells, who accompanied us on the trip in 2015, had stolen it, and suspecting that I had accidentally donated that box with other items we chose to leave in Colorado.  

Gramma Lucy's punch bowl

A few years ago, my former step-mom and mother to my siblings passed on her family's giant punch bowl.  A generous gift that I suspect was ultimately because no one else wanted it.  We have used that bowl, our rose bowl, and Kristi Swinney’s bowl (that I still have custody of) in regular rotation, every Christmas. 

Kristi Swinney's punch bowl

In October, while looking for a photo album in my boxes in my in-laws garage I opened a box labeled books and discovered the missing silver punch bowl!  I also found a ceramic christmas bowl (one of 3 that Kat asks about every year), and crystal dessert bowl (1 of 6 that I noticed was missing christmas 2022).  It was a Christmas Miracle!

When I shared with my friends Javi and Jodi that I had found the silver punch bowl in a box labeled books, Jodi suggested I should have looked there first, remembering the search for our dinner plates in the great unpacking of 2016.  11 boxes labeled plates and not a single regular stoneware, microwave, dishwasher safe dinner plate.  Every single blessed china plate, party plate, glass plate (not microwave safe) anyone could ever want, but no dinner plates.  When we finally found the plates? In a box labeled FRAGILE Books in Matthew’s handwriting. 

So be on the lookout for the christmas surprise silver punchbowl at this year’s party!

Merry ho ho ho.

Don't judge me!

I like Christmas

What does your holiday decorating look like?

not this year's decorations

I spend an unhealthy amount of time on the Christmas side of instagram, watching perfectly lit and stage reels showing off their creators' versions of perfect holiday decor.  Spend more than a few minutes there and you will learn that this year the Ralph Lauren Christmas is trending, along with velvet bows, and the viral velvet christmas chain.  

I absolutely admit that I am struggling with the velvet christmas chain because I could do that! Easily! I don’t think it is just the “how hard can that be?” voice in my head telling me that, I really think I could do it.  The caveat, and I think the point of all of it, is that I don’t have the right velvet ribbon, so I would have to buy some.  If I was planning on a cream and navy and silver and gold Christmas I could, I have navy with silver velvet ribbon, and I have cream with gold, but then I'd have to change something else I planned… Plus I am really trying to talk myself out of the new soft touch christmas greenery garland, which I absolutely do not need.

Even the creators advocating for a DIY, “use what you have” aesthetic are showcasing carefully curated dried orange slices and cinnamon sticks, tied with hand braided twine, and foraged evergreen branches and handmade artisanal candles.  They use gorgeous knives to slice the oranges atop thick wood cutting boards that have been oiled with magic holiday essence ethically harvested by a local fairy co-op.  The scissors they use to cut the twine are hand crafted by local dwarves who devote the proceeds to feed unicorns and butterflies.  

I get it, the point of instagram is winning all the views so you show off a carefully curated narrative and show off gorgeous pictures to do that.  I work in social media, I know that.  I chase views on my personal instagram with the ridiculous glue peel reels that are loved by strangers. Thousands of strangers.  

But please, someone, show me a mismatched christmas tree? A homemade garland made of whatever tied together with a shoelace because you can’t even find string? I could forage items from my yard to make a garland but mostly dead leaves and dried sunflower stalks do not a beautiful garland make.  When I get ready to show off my holiday decor, I am going to stage things so you don’t see the boxes on the dining room table because there isn't room in the pantry, and the cat’s cardboard scratching toys that in the fireplace, beneath the beautifully decorated mantle. Just please know, that the vision I am showing off? It is not real, at least it is not really the whole story.

This year, like last year, our Christmas party will be at Matthew’s house, and he is letting me help take over his Christmas decorating this year.  I mean he could decorate and it would be a combination of penguin christmas, and a 9 ladies dancing christmas tree, and a mini silver tinsel tree.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  However, also, still, I did just spend 25 days of day drinking and crafting and those crafts do need to be shown off. Somehow.  

I am not offering a solution to this problem, just pointing it out, and admitting my part in the silliness. So when you get the christmas guilt of comparing your real life to the picture perfect curated ones you see online, please remember, it is not real.  Please don’t judge your life against someone else's made up image of a perfect life?

Deck those halls, y'all.

Please Come Home for Christmas

How do you like your eggs deviled?

I have written, probably since the very first year, that deviled eggs are an important part of the holiday season for my sons.  All the way back to 2001 when 3 year old Paul traded his pumpkin pie for more deviled eggs after his preschool teacher he couldn't have any more. I’ve mentioned the boys' deeply philosophical discussion in grade school about the importance of deviled eggs in every major holiday except halloween, the one you would think a deviled themed snack would be welcomed.  I’ve shared all the variations of deviled eggs the boys have made over the years; from Paul’s spicy sriracha deviled eggs, to Matthew’s counterpoint “heavenly” deviled eggs that relied heavily on mayonnaise, a touch of mustard and sweet pickle relish, plus everyone is a fan of Sandy Feree’s bacon jalapeno deviled eggs.  I am certain I have mentioned over the years the almost relic-like status their grandmother Elisa’s deviled egg platter has for them.  If those holiday deviled eggs aren’t served on grammas egg platter, is it really a holiday?

In 2011, when we were living in Colorado, my family came for the holidays.  We have dishes aplenty to serve a huge crowd, and I had unboxed all the china just for the event.  The one thing we did not own, however, was a deviled egg platter.  I guess before my in-laws moved to Oklahoma in 2003 when we entertained for the holidays we served deviled eggs on a regular plate?  

Matthew had pointed out several times that we probably just needed gramma to come and bring her egg plate so we could he ok to celebrate the holiday with my family.  Paul problem solved the situation and suggested we could just serve the eggs in our pink and green tupperware deviled eggs trays that we use to store and transport them in.  Matthew quickly vetoed that suggestion, because if you are using fancy china plates, clearly you can’t serve food from tupperware.

I remedied the situation and bought one off of ebay.  A very pretty cobalt blue glass deviled egg plate that coordinates with our cobalt blue drinking glasses.  I figured that would end the discussion.  I should have known better.  Paul agreed the egg plate was pretty, but if we were going to be fancy, I should have got a nice one, like grammas.  Matthew was horrified.  Who even has a blue deviled egg tray?  Everyone knows a deviled egg tray is just fancy clear glass and crystal like his grammas.  He suggested people would probably get indigestion from deviled eggs served on a blue egg plate.  Honestly? 2011 may be the one and only year we ever used the blue egg plate.  

Now that we are living safely back in Oklahoma where my sons can eat their holiday deviled eggs off gramma’s egg plate, it has not been an issue.  Flash forward to a couple of months ago, I saw on facebook that our friend Jessica had thrifted an egg plate, Exactly like the one my mother in law has. EXACTLY.  So I sent a picture to the boys and asked if they thought we should get another one.  They responded in minutes with a resounding YES.  So a huge thank you to Jessica for facilitating that acquisition.  All future holidays are saved!

Now the only question is, did we make enough deviled eggs?

Drop Top Sleigh Ride

The return of the mutant tree!  The very first entry I wrote for my christmas blog is the story of the year my Mom decided to forgo spending money on a christmas tree, opting to donate the money to a good cause.  Instead of the tree, she obtained fresh pine branches from a friend who had recently trimmed a giant tree in their yard.  She then assembled said branches in a large tub and we decorated that.  As evidenced below.

If you have read the original tale, you know that the year of the mutant tree is also the year Jennifer and I both brought home our classroom trees. You will also know the way Karma paid me back when Paul was in T-1 at Hawthorne Elementary. In searching for the elusive photo of the mutant tree I also discovered these.

All of this photographic Christmas nostalgia? Cringe? Cheer? Inspired an idea for Jennifer’s Bakery this holiday season.  Last year we asked customers and online fans to send in pictures of themselves performing in the nutcracker and literally covered her bakery in the images as a celebration of all the dancers who have ever performed in the nutcracker, regardless of if they went on to become a professional dancer or not.

This year? We are providing the opportunity for people to share their old christmas photos; whether they are awkwardly posing in front of the family christmas tree, or posed professionally.  I am absolutely in love with the results.  I am extending the offer to share that joy with my readers.  If it is December 2025 (even if it is after, to be honest) and you want in on the fun, please email me your best nostalgic christmas pictures (limit 3) to judson@dedicatedgf.com and they will get shared on the dedicatedgf instagram and facebook pages, and copies will be displayed in the lobby. I promise to protect your identity, if necessary.  I can not wait to see your merry christmas pictures.

Home

I have shared before that there is a point in every child's life when the melancholy creeps into the holiday season.   I shared what my good friend Daryl wrote about it in his blog here.  I know with my own sons that the line of demarcation involved grief and loss.  Unfortunately, that is often a struggle most people share during the holiday season.

My tradition of the Say their names post is partly to offset a little of that holiday grief, by remembering friends and family members who are gone.  I had a recent conversation with my sister Jennifer on this topic.  For years, her children’s tradition was for each of them to decorate their own bedrooms for Christmas, borrowing heavily from the family Christmas supply, while cultivating their own supply of holiday decorations over the years. Then on Christmas day Grampa Jerry would pick the winner, usually a 3 way tie.

In 2020, Jennifer’s oldest, age 16 at the time, opted to not decorate.  This caused Jen’s middle child to only make a half-hearted effort in her room.  Her youngest, still only 10, went all in as usual.  Since then, Jen’s youngest is still always all in on the decorating tradition, while the others have eased out.  Naomi, Jen’s middle child certainly gets a pass, as in recent years her holidays have been all about dancing in the Tucson Ballet’s production of Nutcracker.  In 2022 and 2023 she danced the role of Clara, and remains of the more popular Claras in recent years. Even though she danced in Phoenix last year, Ballet Tucson used giant sized posters of her as Clara all over town.

Last year, living in Phoenix, Naomi decorated her small apartment, and every year her collection of nutcrackers are always out at Jen’s home, or her bakery.  When it was time for Jennifer and Christian to decorate, Jennifer had pulled a muscle in her back that morning at work and wasn’t feeling up to dragging all the decorations in.  Christian told her not to worry, he would handle it.  While Jen rested on, my amazing nephew dragged all the decoration boxes into the house, put up the tree and decorated for the family. 

This year?  Jen attended big foodie event work on a Friday in early November and came home late to find Christian had decorated the entire house.  He put up and decorated the tree.  He decorated the table in the entry way.  He decorated the table they use as a hot cocoa and sweet treat station.  He decorated his own room, (although to be honest, his room stays christmas decorated most of the time).  He also found his older brother's Christmas decoration box and decorated Keenan’s room, in anticipation of his return home from college.  He set up and decorated Naomi’s tree from her apartment, and put up her bedroom decorations.  

What a Christmas surprise when Jen got home!  Christian couldn’t find the nutcrackers, but once Jen told him where they were, he got them out and put them up as well.  When Jen told me the story I made the comment that apparently, Christian hasn’t hit that line of demarcation yet.  Jennifer said that for Christian, he just LOVES the holidays.  Any holiday is an opportunity to spend time with his family, and he absolutely relishes every part of that, from the planning to the executing, and then actively enjoys the actual participation in the celebration.  I just love that nugget so very much.

Jennifer’s children’s last name is Johnson, but their entire lives, my son’s have said their cousins are 100% Kinkades because of all the similarities they share, and as a fierce declaration of how much they love them.  I have to agree that 100% Christian’s love of Christmas and joy of celebrating, certainly feels familiar.